Saturday, December 11, 2010


So, I realized that I have never read Hemmingway. I'm not even sure what Hemmingway's first name is. Arther? Nathan? Fitzgerald?

I call myself a writer. Hah. No writer is a writer without reading Hemmingway. He is the master of the iambic pentimeter, and has conquered the literary community with a fictional fist - and he still does. And my mind has not yet been exposed to his brilliance. How sad is that?

My small goal: to familiarize myself with Hemmingway's biography and some of his writings, so I can better understand how and why he is so revered.

Oh, and as a side note: Christmas music is the best thing ever. I love it. But, it cannot be listened to before Black Friday, or after January 1st. Anytime in that time perameter makes everything magical and wonderous, but if listened to outside that time perameter... something bad is bound to happen.
So, enjoy the Christmas music while you can.

Monday, December 6, 2010


My entire world is shrinking into a tiny bubble of late nights, caffiene, books, and memorizing. You've guessed it... it's finals week. Or, to be specific, the week before finals week, which is much more work. The week before finals week is all the studying, and finals week itself is just tests.

Kill me now.

I spent 6 and a half hours studying for a Spanish test last week. I will be lucky if I get a C. I don't understand Spanish at all. I used to love Spanish in high school (when I had an amazing teacher) but now I have a horrid teacher.

Class time consists of him telling us stories of his childhood and college life and travels around the world. Sometimes he plays spanish music for the class. Then he realizes that there's only 10 minutes left in class time, so he crams an hour lecture into 10 minutes, leaving everyone confused.

The result is me knowing no Spanish and being punished for my teacher's failings. If I was quizzed on his life, i'd get an A. But when it comes to prerite, present and past subjunctive, and indicative... i'm lost. No hope for survival.

This is the first class I am scared I may fail in. I'm a good student, and I average A's in all my classes. But, this just might kill me.

All my other classes are going wonderfully. I enjoy them.

This week I was introduced to the classic TV show: Friends. Growing up my family never had cable, so I never watched any TV; we would occasionally watch movies. So, I have never seen Friends before. I cannot believe what I have been missing! This show is the basis for all sit-coms/soap operas/witty TV shows. It is the formula for success.

This is a revelation to me. I'm glad I discovored it, especially since i'd like to one day write scripts for TV shows, it's good to know the formulas for the most successful shows in TV history.

Anyways, I hope I survive the week. Afterwards I get to go back home to Minnesota on a long 12 hour car ride. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo will keep me entertained as my friend drives.

Monday, November 29, 2010


Thanksgiving was wonderful. It was relaxing. It was heart-warming to be with family. It was hilarious (had a party Friday night, tons of laughing involved). But, the one thing that was missing from the yearly tradition of Thanksgiving is this: the feast and Grandma's house.

Every year my Grandma hosts Thanksgiving for their side of the family. My mom, my aunt, and my Grandma are all incredibly amazing cooks, so it is a joyous time (especially for my mouth).

But, this year, my Grandma had surgery on her fingers. She has been ridden with artheritis for years, and just recently decided to have surgery on her fingers to do whatever the Doctors do to make it better. Anyways, she couldn't cook. So, we decided to have our Thanksgiving meal at an Inn. Weird, right? It was nice though. We had a great time, and the food was very good.

Overall my break included:

* Staying up until 3am wathcing movies and talking with my family
* Showing off my first published piece of writing
* Shopping
* Drinking Caribou Coffee (I miss it so much since there aren't any Caribous in Indiana)
* Hanging out with friends
* Being lazy

It was a very nice weekend. Now I am back at college and prepared to conquer my tests. Spanish is killing me, so I am pulling out the big guns and ready to battle verb conjugations, tenses, and verbage until Spanish begs for mercy.
Wish me luck.

Oh, and a goal that I just completed: I ran a mile in 6:30. I had been getting a little slow, so I set a goal for myself to complete a mile (only breathing out of my nose so it helps my breathing as well) in 6:30.
My next goal is 6 minutes flat. That will take me a while to reach; bring it on!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

the new blog

I changed my blog. You probably noticed if you still have eyes, but I just wanted to reassure you: you are in the right place.

This change is not only layout and title, the purpose changed as well. You probably read the little tag line under the title, but let me explain it a little bit.

There are many things that I want to do before I eventually get married (if I am one day blessed with a bride, that is). I want to do anything from skydiving to traveling to Italy to eating sushi to publishing a book. There are many goals that I would like to accomplish before I say: "I Do."

The purpose of this blog is to:

1. Comemorate my futile and humerous attempts at suceeding at the little things
2. Entertain you
3 Give a glipse of my younger life to my future wife, and the journey I took to become the man she will know as her own
4. Have fun

So, without further ado, let me welcome you to: Before "I Do". You will hear an account of my life as I tackle various obstacles.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Thanksgiving Break

Thanksgiving break is coming nearer and nearer. The thought of eating food that is natural and good for you is exciting to me. I will soon be eating food that wasn't made by simply adding water. Yeah, that's the huge downside to college: the food.
I wake up too late to eat breakfast, so I am restricted to two meals a day.
When i'm a home I eat an average of 4 meals a day, sometimes as many as 8. I am hungry ALL the time. I can't wait to eat whenever I want to, even though Thanksgiving break will only last for less than a week, it will be time that I will immensely enjoy.

I signed up for classes next semester. It's scary to think it's almost been a whole semester here at Taylor. It doesn't feel like that long, yet at the same time it feels like a lifetime.

I recently discovered that I can take a Forensic Science class instead of Chemistry or Physics for my Gen-Ed science class next year. You have no idea how excited I am to take Forensic Science. I watch way too many invesigation movies/shows, and even read articles and books on the side concerning murder mysteries.

It's funny... one of my friends is already dating in college. He met her two months ago and they're boyfriend and girlfriend now. I think it's hilarious. They're both great, but they're both freshmen... and they both have 4 years ahead of them of soul-searching. Yeah, love is in the air at the Taylor campus.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

No Shave November

I just wrote an article for the campus newspaper, The Echo. My article is being printed and will be all around campus on Friday, making this my first time seeing my name in print. Yes, I am stoked beyond belief.

Here it is:

Title: No Shave November

The second week of November has come. It’s not the weather that has the men of Taylor uncomfortable; it’s the stubble on their faces. That’s right, it’s No Shave November.

No Shave November has been a Taylor tradition for many years. But it still has male students cringing at the inevitable: a semi-hairy face.

Here are a few things that signify the beginning of No Shave November:
Men will…
• Scratch the chin area
• Express shame while in the presence of females
• Constantly use excuses like: “It’s usually not this long” or “I know I look like a 12 year old”
• Make fun of the beardless to feel better about themselves

Guys know if they have clean-shaven faces come middle of November, they will be publicly disgraced for being too proud to resemble a fuzzy peach or for having a hormonal imbalance. I can personally attest that neither of these outcomes is desirable.

Men may complain about being unable to socialize with females because women fail to hold eye contact. . . every few seconds their eyes drift to the lower half of the face. The first week of November I thought to myself: they must be admiring my cheekbones, which, of course, were sculpted by Michelangelo himself. But when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I found my eyes drifting to the lower half of my face, and Michelangelo had nothing to do with it. My inner pubescent boy was showing.

I’d like to make a quick shout-out to those “real men,” those guys who can grow full beards in half a week. You know who you are. Others might not because they can’t see you beneath the facial ferns. You bear that hair with manly pride. Continue being awesome.

Yes, it may be true that almost every creature that deserves an “awww” is furry. Imagine these baby animals: a penguin, a duck, and a dog. If you thought to yourself “awww” or screamed it out loud, then you have passed the test. If you did not have the “awww” moment, then you are heartless. Now, to dispel the mental image that furry creatures are the only adorable ones imagine these baby animals: a seal, a pig, and a naked mole-rat. If the “awww” moment didn’t happen, then visit the prayer chapel; God can still save your soul. (Yes, naked mole-rats are adorable.)

Never fear, men who can grow only patches, because like the naked mole-rat, you are still loved. Let’s hope Taylor can survive the rest of November. And women, imagine a baby seal next time your eyes drift the lower half of a man’s patchy face, and feel free to have an “awww” moment.

Monday, November 8, 2010


NanoWrimo stands for: National Novel Writing Month.
The goal of NanoWrimo is for hundreds of thousands of people around the world to write a novel in the month of November. Yes, a novel in a month. You read that correctly. 50,000 words is the goal. That is equivilent to 5 pages a day with 1.5 line spacing. It takes unparalleled dedication and focus, which I lack.

I am on page 18, and I am supposed to be on page 40 by the end of the day. My homework is kind of controlling-and yes-that is my excuse because I know I could prioritize my time to get both done with extra time.

Life at college has gone a little bit downhill to be honest. I have lost track of what I value most. I guess i've been sitting on the sidelines watching life happen and not been taking part in it.

I've noticed that on days that I clean my room organize my life, do all my homework early in the day, read a bit of a book, do devotions, go on a walk, and write, at the end of the day I feel amazing. But, since it is so hard to be self controlled enough to do all those things in a given day, I have been ending up at 2:00am every night wondering where my time went.

Yes, I have blogged countless times about being organized and self controlled, but it is really something no one can have too much of, and I would like to exercise that mental muscle of mine as much as possible, because I know that when I get out of college and possibly live on my own, everything will be on my own shoulders.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fall Break

For some random reason it hit me today of how much I want to life in loft downtown Minneapolis once i'm out of college. I want to live in one with a few other guys for a few years and enjoy our young bachelor years in the city and pursuing our dream jobs. Me, I might be found under the name of Benjamin Grey in my future outrageously popular newspaper columns and possibly blogging career. I will write books and short stories for fun on the side, and maybe try to get those published. And, after a few years of outrageous fun and unforgetable memories with my best friends, start a career in film-making as a screenplay writer for TV shows, and maybe a few movies.

Yeah, doesn't that sound so nice.
I have my life planned out. Since ink blots on a web page cannot convey vocal inlfection, that was an extremely sarcastic statement. I know that planning your life out rarely happens the way you imagine. But, this is a goal of mine rather than a dream. I would like to work towards it. If it falls through, then so be it, but I would love it beyond capacity of words to have a life half as exciting as what I just described.

I looked up some penthouses and lofts downtown and found some for decent prices for some really classy places. Split between 5 or so guys would be a really realistic yet epic way to live.

All wishful thinking aside about my future, on to a more mundane but still cool subject: I FINALLY have my life organized!! I feel so good. I'm not sure how much i've mentioned this before, but one of my characters in my book is named Tatum Foxx. She is the upitome of awesomeness and attractiveness. The one thing that seperates her from other girls (aside from the simple fact that she can kick the butt of nearly every person on the planet with special thanks to 5 forms of martial arts)is this: she is self disciplined.

Discipline is a character trait that i've had to fight for my whole life. Especially the last 3 years has been a constant uphill battle for organization, time-management, and effectiveness. I DO get a lot done, especially compared to the average 18 year old college male, but, I'm not comparing myself to statistics of the national average (which is depressing), I am comparing myself to my potential. I know I can do better, so I have been trying to.

Tatum Foxx is the one who has pushed me the last month to finally achieve what i've been trying to for 3 years. I can finally say that I have a decent grasp on self discipline.

Over the fall break weekend most people were staying up to 4am playing video games and doing nothing. So, I decided to utilize a handy program (unknown to me before this week) called OneNote. It comes with most Microsoft Office packages. Anyways, I organized my entire life on this program. I wrote out my To Do List for short term and long term.

Over my elongated weekend (thank you Fall Break, I love you) I dispersed my homework between my 4 days of break, doing most of it at the beginning, leaving Saturday and Sunday for free-time. So, while everyone else was being lazy bums, I was cleaning my room, reading tomes, writng short stories, writing assignments, and having a great time doing so.

Right now I have the evening to enjoy myself where all the guys on my floor will be up nearly all night studying last-minute for assignments and tests due for monday.

I still have a long way to go in the area of self-discipline, but I am happy to say that for once I can be content at what I have achieved.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

the one exception

I just got back my first big paper. By "big" i mean 20% of my overall grade in Literature class. Guess what grade I got in it?


To make matters worse, it was one of the best essays i've ever written. The teacher happened not to be able to follow my unconventional "hourglass" essay structer based off of modern journalism, but instead is traditional and usd to the boring 5-para-essay format, so she couldn't find my thesis statement.
As a result of her confusion, my angelicly perfect essay was given a D. There were no marks on it for grammar or anything, adding to my anger and frustration because it is inherently perfect, but my proffessor just isn't up-to-date with the newest formatting techniques.

Other than that little revelation I recieved earlier today, life has been wonderful.
My first improv comdey show is in a week.
My sister is flying in to visit tomorrow and staying for 4 days; I can't wait!
I've been having a ridiculous amount of fun and I'm learning a lot through my classes.
I'm hoping to start getting published in the campus paper soon.
My radio show starts tomorrow night.

Life is good. Mostly.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

fresh as freshman

I am sitting in the "Student Union" listening to an Indie musician play a live show. This is so much fun.

College so far has been amazing. I'm trying to be as involved as possible and am succeeding so far.

I auditioned and got accepted into the campus improv comedy group: Rice Pilaf. Only 3 students were accepted into the group, so I feel honored to be one of them. Our first show is in a week. I'm so excited!

Me and another student may be having our own radio show for the campus-wide radio. He'd be the anchor and I'd be comedic backup. We'd have a few shows a week for an hour slot. It sounds kind of difficult, but i think I would love it like nothing else.

I joined intrameaural (i think I spelled that wrong, but I really don't care) football. But, I think I will be quitting it because everyone "plays angry". It's ten steps past competative. Already (it's flag football keep in mind) there has been a broken leg, a broken collar bone, two black eyes, a dislocated shoulder, and a broken arm. Yeah. I dropped it because it's no fun. Afterwards I just feel mad.

But, other than that, I still have a blossoming social life that sometimes prohibits a doctor's recommended 8+ hours of REM sleep for the average college student.

I am in an "airband competition" with some guys on my floor. It is where a floor gets together and choreographs a dance and lip-syncs to a popular song, creates a crazy background to the stage, makes band instruments out of nothing, makes crazy costumes, and performs their hearts out. It is awesome. 17 floors tried out, 11 were accepted. We were accepted.
Over 15 hours of choreography paid off.

I got a job as a tutor. Usually freshmen can't tutor, but they made an exception. I feel really special. But, it's like having another full time 4 credit hour class. For example, (I am a tutor for reading comprehension in general, so I can get students in any class). I have to read the material that they are reading before we meet, and I am not in their classes. I was just assigned someone who has a test on Wednesday, and the test is over a book and a half, and I need to know a bunch of definitions and stuff. So, I need to know all that by Sunday. I get paid for it, but it's so hard. So, i'm learning to balance my time well but make time for personal enjoyment.

Yesterday I was like: "I need some Ben time". So, I ignored my homework and spent time in my room, wrote, watched a TV show, and just sat and thought for a while. Afterwards I felt so refreshed and ready to tackle my homework.

Needless to say, although I have a bunch to juggle in my busy schedule, I am having a blast doing so.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

and here it goes

College life is interesting to say the least. Where else can you eat at a buffet style commons area three meals a day, blast music and no one complaining, visit friends at 2am and learn so much that business will be like: "Woah" when they see my resume.

That's Taylor University for ya.

The guys on my wing (about 35 of them) are really nice, we went on a wing retreat to someone's house and hung out and bonded. It was a nice way to start off the semester.

Now, clases have started and have been going for a week. I've already read over 200 pages, completed 5 tests, written an essay, and plently of random assignments. They push us hard to say the least. I have about 4 hours at the very least of homework a day. But, hey, it's fun, and i'm learning a lot.

The "city" is soo small. But, i've already imprinted into my subconscious that I will not be going to any social establishments while i'm at college aside from the campus provided entertainments.

I already have a ton of friends, and we hang out like three times a day. Two of my friends already had a DTR (define the relationship) walk. Hahaha. I thought that was halaarriioouss. First week and they fell for each other. My roommate is goo-goo for a random girl. He's been hanging out and talking with her all the time. He's planning on getting her flowers.

I think i like my approach the best. I am simply being myself and making a ton of awesome friends without making relationships complicated by drama. I've been dubbed the "ladies man" of the entire floor of my dorm. Haha. I think that's halarious. But, all the girls I hang out with are almost all attracted to some other random freshman dudes, which I'm glad about or else it could get awkward.

I'm sick with a cold. I've gotten a lot better; already two girls invited me over for tea with them, one for a movie night, and one just to hang out and talk because I didn't feel well.

So, i've been busy. Between reading systematic theology and critical approaches to literature, studying for tests and writing reports, i've had plenty of time for a social life, and i've been getting a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night.

I heard it said that there are 3 goals for a college student: Good grades/acedemia, social life, and sleep. And it is only possible to have two of the three goals at the same time. So far i've managed to have all three, but we'll see how long that lasts. The way my Spanish teacher has been pushing us, I think I may need to pull a few 4am nights memorizing abstract preterite verbs.

But, overall, college is fun. The people are amazing. I've gotten closer to God. I've been able to have amazing walks and talks with Him and just hang out by myself. I've been able to get some really close guy and girl friends. I am really looking forward to this semester.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

to woo the ladies

Hello, my name is Doug. That's God spelled backwards with a little bit of U in it.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

new on the floor

The first day of Taylor went wonderfully. Schedule of events went as thus:

Setting up the dorm room including moving all the furniture to a cozy atmosphere: 2 and a half hours, the fastest of anyone i've talked to on campus.

Lunch, which was fun to see all the people I met last year during CRAM (a summer program offered by Taylor for prospective high school students on campus).

Then I met some guys on my floor, they all seem pretty awesome. I can't wait to get close to them. There are 18 new freshman on this wing of the dorm. Apparently the most new freshman of any wing in this dorm hall. I'm bad with names, so i'm struggling a bit but i'll catch on.

Applied for a job at the front desk of my dorm. Basically you get paid to shuffle the mail, answer the phone, and study. I hope I get the job, and if not, I know the manager of the on campus coffee shop, and with my 2 years of experience around coffee, that will put me on the top of the food chain.

Dinner, which was uneventful. Then I chilled in the dorm for a bit, which was nice.

Then after going over the dorm rules (in a very creative and halarious skit presented by the RAs of the dorm) we did the infamous "Awk Walk". It stands for "Awkward Walk" which is set up the first night of every year for the freshman to get to know their "sister dorm".

So, the RAs come up with awkward questions you HAVE to ask the girls... yeah, one of them was "When you take a crap, do you watch the poop go down?" and according to the rules, you had to ask these questions while in awkward positons, like walking while holding their earlobe.

It actually wasn't very awkward. Afterwards we went to Steak n' Shake and hung out with the sister dorm. It was REALLY embarassing... so, you know what it's time for?

During the awkward walk, all the girls rotate through the guys after each question is answered (about 2 minutes was allowed for each question)... one girl when she came up to me was like "BEN!!" And I had NO idea who she was. It was kind of awkward. I looked at her, begging my braint o recognize her, but I honestly had no idea. "Do I know you?"

Apparently we were Facebook friends and had talked for like a month, and I didn't remember any of it. And she did. We talked at Steak n' Shake, and like every other question I asked her she was like: "We talked about this over Facebook!" Yeah, it was embarrassing. I remember the liscence plate number, make and model of a car that drove in front of me nearly two weeks ago, yet I cannot remember a month's worth of conversation with a girl...

After I got back to the dorm I went on Facebook, and once I found her profile I remembered talking to her. But, I still feel bad.

So, now is day two of college. I woke up at 9:45 and ran about 2 miles, took a shower... was shirtless in the dorm when my roommate's sister came in... that was slightly awkward. Thankfully I hand't taken the liberty to change completely or else that could have ended up much worse.

Then I've been chilling, reading my Bible, listening to Indie music. I'm kind of putting off going to lunch right now because I don't really want to go.

The parents and families are forced to leave campus at 1:00, so lunch encompasses parents hugging, crying, and trying to make funny jokes while they're still there. My parents left yesterday before lunch, which I'm glad, because that allowed me to meet new people. But, now I have no one to eat lunch with and have to watch everyone else eat with their new BFFs they made on campus or their families.

My roommate is hanging out with his family before they leave, or else i'd eat with him. Yeah, i'll suck it up and eat a gorgeous meal at the deli that makes Subway jealous.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Gas City

Yeah, you read that title correctly. Gas City is the "city" that is right next to the "town" of Upland Indiana, where my new College, Taylor University regretfully resides in the middle of absulutely nothing but critically acclaimed "God-Forsaken landmassed enhabited by none other than the residents of Taylor".

My mom and dad drove me down to Taylor, and we are currently lounging in a Holiday Inn in Gas City. (I apologize about the two awkward "Ins" that were right after each other). Move in day starts tomorrow at 9am. So, in the meantime, we decide to "expore the expanses" of the great mass that is Gas City.

If you cannot audibly hear the sarcasm dripping off each word, then you need to crank up your speakers. Gas City has: Mcdonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Subway, Starbucks, like 10 gas stations, about 5 semi truck washing stations, a Walmart distribution center (no Walmart though), Big K, Dollar store, a few Chinese joints, and a couple steak houses and local restaurants that you can smell from the highway... and no, that was not a "Yum, where's that delicious home-cooking smell coming from?"
It's more like: "Dang, is there a slaughter house near here?"

I exaggerate, of course. But, I am from the suburbs. And by suburbs I mean that I am 15 minutes from one of the largest malls in America, 5 minutes from another mall, and 25 minutes away from downtown Minneapolis. But, now I am in Gas City, the residence that starts with: "Don't move here".

Yeah. I'm sure i'm going to adore Taylor. But, it's just starting to sink in that i'm moving to the center of cornfeilds and scary family owned businesses with 13 year old servers.

The drive over the Indiana went well. I slept 7 hours at the beginning, so it felt like a quick trip (haha, yes, that's also the name of a gas station. Unintentional pun, i'm so witty, aren't I?)

Story time. 3 years ago, little 15 year old version of me visited Forte Wayne to see the secondary campus of Taylor University. While there, I ate the most AMAZING burger i've ever set my lips upon. It was like making out with heaven. But it was edible and was covered in sweet BBQ sauce and was only 14.99 and came with fries. Compared to the place where we will go after dying...

If you don't already know me too well, I am a burger connisoure. I try all the burgers around and compare the greatness in attempts to find the best burger. Since that spring evening when I was 15, i've had some incredible burgers, but none compare to that amazing hunk of beef on the heaven-kissed bun with deep fried onions, fresh crunchy pickles, sweet BBQ sauce, fresh tomatoes, green lettuce, melted cheese, and gorgeous fries that would make France press charges.

So, on the way to Taylor today, my parents, being awesome like they are, decide to take me there to fulfill 3 years of tormented searching for an equally mouth-watering treat as that mystery burger was.

When we got to Forte Wayne, and we arrived in the same mall-area as we were 3 years ago, it dawned on us that we had NO idea what the name of the place was. After much searching, we settled on 3 possibilities, and I walked into them... none of them looked like it. It was then that we noticed the closed restaraunt between the 3 possible burger joints... my heart sank... no great burger for Ben after 3 years of waiting to taste the piece of heaven that has haunted my palate since I was but a wee chap.

We decided to eat at another place. Then my dad asked the waitress about the closed restaurant. She told us that it was a Mexican place, and before that it was another Mexican place... it was then that we realized that the burger joint was still in the mall, but we just didn't find it.

I decided to look no further to keep the intreague. The burger may await me. It may not. But, Ben will continue searching for his stomach-mate...

Monday, August 16, 2010

yeah, you know it

I am back with vengance. The last month my creativity has been in hibernation along with most other things, but recently it has been busting out, so I will try to be better about blogging.

I leave for Taylor in 10 days. Uber excited. If I knew how to put an accent over the "U" in "uber" I would, because then it would look really cool.

Checklist of things to do before I leave for college aside from saying obvious farewells and hanging out with friends are:

Finish the book i'm reading
Get onto a normal sleep schedule (be able to wake up at 7:00am every morning and feel fine the entire day)

And, I think that's it. Short list for short ambitions. Haha, kidding. I have most things figured out and in the mix right now.

And, a new segment to my blog with be Awkward Corner. In the Awkward Corner, I will share an awkward situation that happened to me since I last blogged. I encounter too many to remember, so I won't run out of awkwardness to share for the whole family.

Bring your kids.

And pets.

Awkward Corner:
I was working at Bonfire (the restauraunt as a host), and I was cleaning off a table. There is a huge mirror on one of the walls (it is pretty awesome), but while I was bussing it off, I looked up and made eye contact with one of the servers behind me. Yeah... eye contact through a mirror and they're behind me. I felt awkward talking to them the rest of the night.

Monday, August 9, 2010

marraige material

I made a list of everything I want in a wife. It's pretty detailed, so in a bullet point list, it is 3 pages long.

I compared myself to the character qualities in my list and realized that I don't match up to my own standards.

The biggest thing I need to work on is discipline. A blogger I used to follow a few years back said this, and this is now one of my favorite quotes/words of wisdom: "Try to do something everyday that you don't want to do."

If I actually went out of my way to do things that I didn't want to do, it would build my character and develop discipline. But, I haven't been doing that.

Going off to college, I've been thinking about relationships a lot considering that the majority of married couples in the US met in college. Sure, i'm really young, and i've never been in a serious relationship before... or any relationship for that matter. But, I want to prepare myself for being marraige material.

I don't want to be another one of those steryotypical testosterone filled, heavy headed, slow thinking, cliche phrase saying, repugnant guys. I want to be different. I want to be someone that is above the average, cliche, and normal. I want to be exceptional.

I, of course, have a ton of work in order to improve... but, i'd like to start now.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

the run

All day yesterday was spent shopping for college supplies. And, it was then that I realized that Walmart does indeed have just about everything. They had a huge section dedicated for "back to school". It was aimed for college students, because they had sheets, comforters, pillows, plastic tupperware all in this back to school section. It was awesome.

One thing that I am extremely picky about is pens. When I take notes in class, my preffered utinsel is a pen over a pencil. And, when it comes to pens, I need a quality one to do the job. I am proud to announce that I have four nice pens ready for use, a new bed spread, pillows, mechanical pencils, notebooks, and of course I can't forget about the awesome magnetic dry erase board that I'm hanging on my wall to give myself mental notes and such.

If you cannot tell through the typed word, I am brimming with excitement to leave for college!

On another note, I was in the mood for a run, so I went to a park near my house and ran the trail twice. After the first time around, I felt tired, but I wanted to push myself, so I went around twice without any breaks. The whole run was I did in 23 minutes 35 seconds. I don't run all that often, but i'm in pretty good shape from kickboxing. When I got home, I looked up the trail length, and I ran 4.2 miles. That made me so happy! If I actually ran consistantly, I could get it down to about 20 minutes, and have 5 minute miles.

So, college shopping almost done, and fitness plan on the move (pun inteded), I feel really good.

Now, I will write, because I have been hovering around 130 pages for like 3 weeks now with no valid excuse as to why I've not been writing. So, next blog, i'll say the page number, and it will be drastically different, just you wait!

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Here is a poem I wrote about two years ago. I have never been a poet, that is one thing I've never really done before. But, I still like this.

Rays of sunlight penetrated holes in the vast cloud cover.
The beams that escaped the clouds shone like pillars
from heaven descending on earth.
The sun’s long fingers groped down, trying to envelope
everything in its dense beautiful light.
June’s warm air swirled around leaves on the trees,
begging them to come loose so they could dance.
The deep green leaves flittered, staying on their branch,
letting the wind play with them. They were shy,
still clinging to their mother’s hand.
The tender green grass swayed with the wind in its dance.
The wind found someone to dance with
and swung them around with gusto.
The cotton swung around and around, floating languorously
in a tango. The wind whistled with enthusiasm
over houses, now swiftly acing as the vigor overflowed.
The cotton twirled and swung, laughing lightly.
Brooks and streams surged forth, racing faster and faster
as the wind danced. The water giggled over rocks.
A stick joined in the ballet with the water,
trailing behind the energetic stream.
The stick was a little gauche, but the stream didn’t mind.
The water’s enthusiasm spilled forth, encouraging the stick,
directing it as it glided around boulders and logs.
Wind twisted and turned, swooshing around
winter’s long dead leaves that strew the beaten path.
Were red, brown, and yellow leaves too arid for a brisk salsa?
Wind didn’t care to consider it.
The old-beautifully wonderful leaves wavered and swayed
to the wind’s cadence-a million beats per minute.
The leaves nodded their thanks to the sprightly wind.
The languidly lively dance made the wind whistle its applause.

Friday, July 23, 2010

waiting and wishing

Raquetball is a sport played by computer science nerds in huge bifocal glasses, taking advantage of the unecessary use of head-bands, ankles weights, and protective gloves all to be trapped in a tiny white room to hit a bouncy ball off the walls and waddle around like an overstuffed dizzy chicken...

So I thought two days ago.

Yesterday was my first time playing Raquetball. I can officially say that the sport has a broader range of audiences than computer science nerds.

I have glasses, and can barely see without them, so I wore them into the court. There were about five times where I almost got my glasses folded in half, knocked off my face, or crushed by the speeding merciless ball. Thankfully I have decently fast reflexes so I dodged them, but it made me a little scared when my friend would wind up to hit.

I flinched almost every hit... but, I won three games and got a great exercise. My prejudice against the game (I intentially didn't call it a sport, because I'm still undecided if it has earned the right for the title) has been more or less settled.

Now, I sit in nagging, fidgity impatience for the next month to pass by as I wait for the beginning of college.

I believe some free associations would be beneficial around the term "College". Let's begin.

Unmade beds
Staying up late doing homework with bloodshot eyes
Arriving at an 8am class having gotten no sleep
In shape
Study groups
New friends
Girl friend

And, I believe that sums up the entire college experience in a few words. Coffee, sleep, essays, and people.

I can't wait.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


How do you guys like the new layout? I'm digging it.

I went on an undercover ops mission. On Tuesday, I scouted out a Walmart store for the visual location that I am using in my book where the hostages are being held.

I was surprised at how little security cameras they had in the store. The aisles were very wide, so the cameras probably had better angles than the normal Walmart.

Yesterday, I drew the blueprint for the entire store from memory. Including the three hidden exits, the location of ventalation shafts, the control room, and of course, the headings/signs that tell people where their lowfat ice cream is in the store. Now I have an idea of where everything is in the store, and an accurate escape route for my poor hostages.

If only the workers knew what I was up to.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


Titles are so key in the making of a novel. I have picked up books at the bookstore, read the back of it, and quickly put it back on the shelf once I read the title. Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. I do it all the time. It saves me hours of sludging through the heavy pages of what NY Times called: "A thrilling ride" or what the Producer of the Matrix named: "Best read of the year!"

I don't care what the producer of the Matrix said about this mystery book if the title is: The Salvation Chronicles.

Titles are key. Much like first impressions, titles shape our presuppositions of what we assume about it before we actually know anything. Everything that we read from that point on is off the foundation of our first judgement from the cover of the book. If The Salvation Chronicles is regretfully placed there, then the whole read would be ruined with the mental image of a mid twenties writer who still has braces because he think they look cool with dark red bands, and with an old sweater vest which was bad the first time it was in style.


If the book was only named: Salvation, then it would be readable.

I am facing that very problem with my book. Even though it is yet unfinished, I am running through titles. My co-author named it Breakthrough, so for the sake of ease and convenience, we've called it that when referencing the drafted novel.

Now that I think about it... are one word titles a thing of the past? Are they overused? Are they cliche? Are two or three word titles coming back?


It's good, and I don't cringe when I hear it; I just think we can come up with something better.

Anatomy of Destruction.

Do you like the title? If it gets published, and I get to finish the series, the following novels could be Anatomy of Chaos or Anatomy of... fill in the blank.

That is the title of a book worthy of getting picked off the shelf for the sole reason of a well thought out title.

Friday, July 16, 2010


I met with my co-author (Bob) for my book Breakthrough. We met in the early morning at a local coffee shop (I will never get tired of the atmosphere of a coffee shop).

We went over the entire plot line from where we are now (130) to page 350. Bob has come up with some good ideas, but I basically created it all. So, giving the story pitch to him the other day felt good to know that I did all that by myself. I feel accomplished.

We started talking about publishers and possible directors to help make it into a movie. If this gets off the ground, this will cannonize my writing career. Yay.

It is a lot harder to write a book than I thought it would be at the beginning. I can write short stories like nobody's business... but I never knew that a long story would be this much of a difference. But, I love it.

My goal is to finish the book before I go to college. Once at college, I can have my professors help with the editing and refining of the story as part of a school project.

While at Taylor, I will be taking acting classes. I've always wanted to learn how to act, but never took any classes. But, acting helps the creation of realistic diologue and improv. If they have an improv. class, I'm taking it.

I'm starting to get more and more anxious for college. Not anxious nervous, but anxious excited. I will be living away from home for about 3 years. It is going to be a blast!

Anyways, about a month and two weeks left to go for me until i move into my tiny dorm. I just got pictures of my dorm room and I think a mole tunnel is more spacious. We share a dresser!

I can hardly fit my clothes in my OWN dresser let alone forfit half to my roommate! This is going to be interesting.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

week at a glance

Okay, small update since the last time I blogged:

Had a Physical for my college health form

Finished the book on effective Dialogue and just starting another book.

Started a schedule and now have a much better sleeping regiment.

Saw the movie Knight and Day and pretty much laughed the entire time. It earned its way into my favorite movies of all time.

Recently been listening to classical music and opera, and am loving it.

Have been working out a lot more, and am feeling a huge difference. I set up a rope in our unfinished basement tied to a beam, and I spread my legs out in an L sit as I bring myself up and down the rope. It hurts like nothing else, and I feel amazing.

Am on page 130 in my book. Making some headway, but at a difficult place in my plot.

Getting registered to all my classes at Taylor. My roommate's name is Jason. I met him last year, and we decided to be roommates. It will be awesome. Jason is from Korea, and he was 2nd in Korea's National Taekwando tournament when he was younger. Heck yes, I have a ninja for a roommate, and he is going to teach me his ways! I can barely wait.

Went boating on July 2nd with my extended family to celebrate an early 4th of July because my siblings and I were all working on the 4th. Got sunburned, but it was so worth it! We were out on the river for about 9 hours. We swam, ate, talked, landed on a small island with a few other boats, built sand castles, and raced each other. Oh, and of course, steered the boat. I love driving boats for some reason. (Now my burn turned into a nice tan, and for once I don't represent Vampires for fair skin, but have a decent skin color now).

My friend, Nate, is trying to convince me to go swing dancing with him and his friends. I work until like 11 every night the swing dancing takes place. The place is open till 2:00am. I say that I won't go swing dancing unless I find a good partner to dance with, he thinks that's a lame excuse.

Switched cell phones. I now have the LG Rumor Touch from Sprint. I like it. It's not amazing, but I like it. It's easy to text on the keyboard, not like I text a whole lot, but when I do, it's convenient.

My friend recently notified me that a pass for your entire life of rock climbing at REI is only $15 dollars for unlimited climbing as long as you're living... me and a few of my friends are going to be taking advantage of this offer.

It's funny, I have a few different groups of friends, one of which are my "Hardcore Group". Which include Tim, who's going to be a Police officer, eventually SWAT. Matt, a future PJ (Para-Rescue Jumper) (Military Medics who jump out of helicopters in war zones and rescue the injured.) Scott, however shy, was by his ENTIRE school (including the teachers) called "Scotty the hotty with the really nice body". I make fun of him for that, but he's in really good shape. Then, Nate, who's an artist, but he thinks it's fun to wake up at 5:30am and run a few miles, then go to a fitness center for a few hours and work out.

That's my hardcore group of friends. So, we'll be conquering the REI wall soon. If not that, then we'll do something else hardcore.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


Bars are such strange places. Me, being only 18, have not experienced many bar atmospheres. But, the Bonfire has a huge bar in the center of the restaurant. And, as I am coming to realize, it is a halarious place to people watch and occasionally eavesdrop on when it's not busy.

My host stand is about three feet away from the edge of the bar stools, so late at night, I hear many an interesting half-drunk conversation of older guys trying to woo younger women. It is very entertaining.

Last night especially (Friday night) the bar was so full, the people were spilling out into the walking paths of the servers, there were about 20 more needed bar stools, so people just stood around and chatted. It was a lively night, and made me realize what good dialogue I can pick up and possibly use in my book if I want.

I've been working a lot lately. I worked a double Thursday, am working a double today, and will be working a double tomorrow as well. It's making me a lot of money.

The servers really like me. I got tipped again by a server for helping her out. And, they said that I should be a server instead of a host because i'm doing so well.

I applied for a serving position. I want it. But, i'll probably get it next summer over my college break.

College is coming up in a month and a half. I will be having about 16-18 credits of writing classes and a lab science. I am so stoked! (Not for the lab science, in case there was any confusion).

I have been so freakishly busy with work and stuff, it's been hard for me to get a lot of reading done, so i'm still working on the first book I started. I'm over half way, and it's really good.

I've gotten a lot of writing done lately. The next 80 pages will be really hard to write. I have to prolong a hostage situation for that long and a kidnapping investigation, all while making it interesting. So, I need to come up with a few creative ideas on what can happen to keep it lively.

I'll keep you updated.
(P.S. Josh, you say that you read my blog every day, but you never comment. I demand some comments, it's making me feel unread!) ;)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

climbing and discipline

Today I went rock climbing.

At Lifetime fitness, depending on the location, they have huge indoor climbing structers. It was so fun!

I have been indoor rock climbing before, but it's been a long time. So, the first climb was pretty scary, especially when I decided to look down. I have a fear of heights, but for some reason, my love for adventure and adrenaline trumps my fear for heights and forces me to do things above twenty five feet.

Rapelling down after a climb was really fun. Maybe I pretended to be a secret agent rapelling down from an infiltrated building, maybe I didn't. All you need to know is that I enjoyed it immensley. My forearms hurt so badly, I can feel a slight burn on my laptop typing. My fingers hurt too. It makes me feel manly.

Working at the Bonfire has been going very well! I think everyone there likes me. After a busy father's day morning, a server came up to me and put something in my pocket saying that all the servers pitched in a little in thanks for my help to them throughout the day. First off, you must understand that at no time does a server tip a host, ever. So, that was an incredible guesture of their appreciation, and it made me feel loved and appreciated. Then, my manager told me he heard that I did awesome, so he said he "gave you a little something" in my folder in the back. I have yet to see what it is. =) I like it there.

I have been running lately. I've been doing 2 miles at a time. I've only timed it 3 times, and each try the time drops considerably. The first time was around 18 minutes (because I stopped and walked for like 5 minutes because I was so tired), the second time was around 16 minutes, and the third time was about 14:30 minutes. I have never been a dedicated runner, so I am not expecting to be able to run 2 miles in 10 minutes by the end of the summer, but 13 minutes flat would be nice. 2 six and a half minute miles in a row, that's good.

Lately, I have been noticing my incredible lack of self discipline. It bothers me. I want to be a driven person, but i'm just not. I hate setting goals for myself because I almost always go past them. To quote the movie Julie and Julia (amazing movie) "Deadlines, don't you love them? I love the sound they make as they go wooshing by!"

That's what I feel like, and I hate it. I have been trying to change that thing about me for a long time, but it never works. I know that there's books on how to get motivated... I might pick one up to add to my list of 8 other books. (I just bought The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) Thanks, Helena, for blogging about it. It perked my curiosity, so I checked it out, read a bit, and loved it. So, I bought it and now my summer reading is even longer.

Anyways, so, any tips anyone may have, put them down for me to be able to have a better reign on my life. Examples of me being passive and apathetic include: watching TV shows online instead of writing my book, talking and hanging out with my family instead of reading, staying up wayy too late with the escuse of having nothing to do the following morning, only to wake up around 12:00pm, which makes me feel like a piece of crap.

Idealy, I want to go to bed at 12:00am and wake up at 8, or asleep at 11 and up at 7. But, to change it drastically is out of the question, because I am never tired by 11.

Friday, June 18, 2010


I saw my first horror movie.

On a scale of scary in the spectrum of horror, the movie Quarantine, thankfully, is quite low respectively under some like Paranormal Activity, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the like.

You must understand that I get scared very easily. Examples of this include: jumping with surprise at random noises in the house, quite convinced that sometime in my life on a foggy night a hitchhiker will stand in the middle of the road and force me to stop... well, you can just imagine the rest.

With my jumpiness in mind, I see this zombie-like, thriller/horror, intense, documentary style film with my close guy friends at 1:00am at my friend's house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by feilds, corn, and scarecrows.

After the movie, I am terrified out of my wits. With luck against me, my dad needed his car early the next morning, so I had to drive home alone at 2:45am. Let's just say that the drive on abandoned backroads in the middle of nowhere back to my house was less than pleasant.

Plan of attack: if I see someone walking by the side of the road in the mist, then I speed up to 100mph and don't bother swerving if they step out in the road.

I checked my windows five times, triple checked the locks on my car doors, and of course, cranked some music to get my mind from the impending and inevitable hitchhiker.

I arrived home with no hitchiking incident, hence this blog post.

I slept with my nun-chucks.

I am better now. In hind-sight, the movie isn't all that scary. It had a lot of jump scenes, but mainly just jolted me, escpecially so late at night. I am proud to announce I am back to myself.

On a different note... would you like to read a list of what I will be reading for the rest of the summer?
After my graduation open house party, which produced quite a bit of cash, thankfully. (But, tomorrow it will all be gone as I pay my parents for the first of many payments for my college education).
But, back to the story, I purchased a few books from Borders Bookstore. I took an afternoon, and scouted the bookstore, sat down with a Vanilla White Chocolate Mocha and scanned through about 20 books until I settled on five books to buy. I walked out with my summer's reading list of: The Idiot's Guide to Private Investigating (thanks to Helena for the suggestion, it looks like a good book), Sin and Syntax - how to craft wickedly effective prose, Dialogue - techniques and exercises for crafting effective dialogue, and Plot and Structure - Techniques and exercises for crafting a plot that grips readers start to finish, and the most difficult read yet, Computer Hacking for Dummies.
Also, a few weeks ago, I purchased from Borders: Forensics - a guide for writers, and the Writer's Idea Book.

Yeah, I have my work cut out for me that will seep into the school year, because I have 7 books that i'd like to get through, and probably more.

My intent is to cut down on the work on my book, which an early title is: Breakthrough. I'm not sure if I like it, but that is the one we have so far. So, for Breakthrough, I would like to have all the proper techniques completed in the first and second drafts of the book, so I don't have to spend a year editing my work. Although I have taken about 10 writing classes and write in my spare time, I have very specific areas in which I know I need improving, dialogue for example. So, I would like to read these books and do the exercises in them so I will my "hot" for when I complete Breakthrough.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I have set a little goal for myself this week. I guess this blog used to be daily resolutions and complete them, but I haven't done that in like three months. But, simply talking about random stuff is fun, so i'll do that.

I have noticed lately that I have little motivation for anything. I love to write, but I don't write every day when I should and have the time to do so. I am idle. I swoon around the simple pleasures of life and get lost in time until I realize that I work in thirty minutes and leave. Sure, that's good to enjoy the small things (I have no problem with that in my life considering I am ecstatic about naming my new cell-phone Jarvis after the computer in the Iron Man movies. But, there needs to be a happy medium between an at attention Marine ready to sacrifice all personal desires for service and me. I'd like to find that medium so I can actually accomplish things that need to get done, and still enjoy random things and "take it easy".

It would be nice to accomplish this completely before college starts. The little goal that i'm setting for myself this week is just to spur it on. But, it is to not watch any TV shows the whole week, work out every day, take time to read my Bible, maybe read a book, write my book, and then do one thing that I do not want to do that day.

The last point may be slightly confusing, so let me explain. A wise person once said something like: "Take time everyday to accomplish the hardest and least fun thing to do in your schedule, and in time, you will become a much more patient and better person."

So, for example, I really do not want to balance my checkbook. Like, I REALLY do not want to do it. Sure, it's not all that hard, I just don't want to do it, so, tomorrow I will try to do it for the sole reason of going against my lazy nature saying: "Step aside and let the real man do the work".

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


I just finished my first shift at the Bonfire Bar/Restaurant as a Host. Yes, I did just capatalize the word Host because I am the Host. Just like the movie "The Marine", sure, the dude is a marine, but it is capatalized because he is so awesome. Need I clarify more?

Just kidding, I just felt like saying that.

But, it was fun. I caught on fast. I didn't even shadow. I signed the paperwork yesterday, memorized the table numbers, and started as a host tonight. It was quick transitions, but I am a quick learner, and I think I will like it there.

I think there is a pattern in my work history. At Caribou I am the only male aside from the store manager. At Bonfire, I am the only host, all the rest are hostesses.


Anyways, I have seven shifts in the next six days. I will be working a ton this summer making bucko bucks. I think I will really enjoy it at Bonfire. It was fun, the people were nice, and it's easier than I expected.

Sunday, June 6, 2010


I believe in love at first sight. Do you?

I have never been in love, but I am enraptured in the power of love. I cannot wait until I fall in love. Head over heels.

But, until that day comes, I will enjoy my singleness for all it's worth. Most people keep looking forward to the day that they meet "Mr./Ms. Perfect" and lose sight of what they have at that very moment: freedom.

No, i'm not saying that marraige is a ball and chain concept, but how easy is it once married and both have jobs to spontaniously travel to another city, go mountain climbing with hardcore guy friends, go on camping trips, and have less worries in the world.

Marraige is going to be wonderful, not a cake-walk by any stretch of the imagination, but totally worth waiting for. But, until then, i'm not going to waste time thinking about the future because it can't and won't change anything in the present.

I am going to rock my singleness through college. If I meet a wonderful girl, then that's great, but i'd like to "roam free" for a while and taste some aventure and spontenaeity.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

back in black

I am sorry for not blogging for so long. =(

Let me update you on my life in bullet points. (More like "Star Points" though, sorry if your dissapointed)

* Had my Graduation Open House

* Applied at Bonfire the restaurant/bar and waiting a call back after I had an interview two days ago. I'm looking to work full time between two jobs this summer.

* My Grandma just left today visiting from CA

* My Grandma is officially the first person to have read my entire book so far. She reads about a book every two days (not exaggerating at all) and she said that she loved it!

* Got a new cell phone, one that will get reception while i'm at college

* My dad is now working at his new job and is right now in Cincinatti for about four days to do some problem solving.

* P90 X (the workout program) is going wonderfully. I hurt all the time everywhere, but a good pain. I am already feeling a difference. I cannot wait to complete it all and see the results.

* I just bought an awesome shirt at H&M and am wearing it right now with dignity.

* I've written quite a bit in my book lately and am loving the results. Can't wait to continue.

* I like these bullet points.

* I started watching the TV show So You Think You Can Dance and am now extremely jealous of their MAD skills.

* Will be writing a million Thank You letters for my graduation open house.

And, I think that sums up all that I have not blogged about in the last two weeks. Sorry for my failings as a blogger. I will try to be better at it, especially now that it's summer, I should have no excuse, and I don't.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

does this count?

I am done with high school. Goodbye drama.

Well, I take that back. When I go to college in the fall there will be the "I need to get married" virus going around, which I will be taking the proper vaccinations for during the first semester (at the very minimum).

My dad got a job. He is starting on Monday. It is totally a blessing from God, because there is no way in this job market that my dad can get a job as good as he got (it's an incredible one) in only two months of unemployment. The job is in the IT realm. The business is called Accenture. It fixes computer/hardware/motherboard problems for huge companies like Best Buy, Target... etc... He will be traveling to places like England, Brazil, India, and the Phillipenes.

Yeah. He might be able to bring me if I pay for part of the plane ticket. Heck yes. That would be the most amazing thing ever for writing inspiration. I would love to write a short story or two in those places. Maybe even develop a book plot to write later.

But, that means that I can officially go to Taylor University in the Fall for Creative Writing. Everything is set up, and I am going. I am so happy, I cannot even express myself suffieciently. (I spelled that word wrong... I don't know how it's properly spelled, though, so you're going to have to ignore your OCD habits and let that type slide).

I applied at a few places, hoping I could get a job as a server at a classy-ish restaurant. I think I might get the job at Bonfire as a host. No other placesd are hiring, so i'll be happy with that, and hopefully I can move up to a server sometime soon.

I'm on page 105 in my book. Since school is out I will be cruizing. The plot line is just flowing so clearly right now, it's great to know the next step.

Other AWESOME things:

Workouts that make you so sore you can barely move
Ripped/acid washed jeans
Under armor athletic shoes (I just bought a pair and feel really hardcore)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I will be officially done with school tomorrow. I am so happy I cannot contain myself. Well, at this particular moment all I can feel is anxiety. Tomorrow night I have 10 art projects due. Yes, that's right TEN!!

I want to hire Ninja Assassins trained by the Tibetan Monks to hunt down my teacher and force him back to his sanity. 10 art projects in one folder.

The assignment is to create an entire new world that is totally unlike our own. Create life forms, animals, modes of transportation, entertainment, communication... etc... There are ten pages that will have to be turned in! If this was for creative writing class, I would be all over it and I would have created an alternate universe where everyone is marshmallows, and whenever you get hungry, just take a bite out of yourself and you'll grow back in seconds! That would be awesome... but, no, this is art. My psychotic teacher assumes that everyone has the artistic ability of Michael Angelo, but in reality I am just graduating from kindergarten art program for the "not so talented". Tonight and tomorrow is going to suuuuck.

But, after tomorrow night, I will have nothing to worry about but how many smoothies I want to make in a day, or what movie to watch on a Friday night...

Okay, maybe not that relaxed. I'm going to apply for another job, and hopefully be working 40+ hours a week between my two jobs, while writing my book when i'm not sleeping or working. So, I will be very busy still, but the only thing I need to get done is my book, so that relieves a ton of stress off of my shoulders.

Caleb is coming home in two days! I can't wait to see him! He's going to get a job at Olive Garden as a server (the manager knows him and he basically has the job already). Caleb is going to take the year off and go to Taylor the fall of 2011. He's going to be taking general classes at Normandale over the year so he can get all his "Gen Eds" out of the way. So, he'll be a freshman at Taylor at the age of 21, and he's going to be suuper mature compared to everyone else coming in.

I am enjoying my last few days at DCTC. It is nice to know that I will not have to navigate the halls of this cursed dungeon any longer! No more random people staring at me for uncomfortable lengths of time, people sitting in a chair in the middle of the snow storm in the parking lot, no more people treating their empty hand like a walkie-talkie, no more passing by the used needle cases "When you're done shooting yourself with drugs, be safe and dispose of them responsibly" is what it should say on the front of it.

Anyways, I am soooooooo glad that this chapter in my life has turned and a new one has started. The new chapter title is: "Goodbye stress, hello Awesome".

I named it myself. Are you proud of me?

I am craving lobster, root beer floats, french fries, a huuuuuge burger with every topping you can imagine, so big that I have to cut it in half and squish it down just to be able to fit it into my mouth. *Mouth waters* Annd, i'm craving pizza, lasagna, a milk shake, and chocolate.

In case you were wondering, yes, if that was all in the same meal, that would be the most epic thing on the planet.

Seth Johnson demanded that I make a list of everything that I dub "AWESOME!!!" Because apparently, I think a lot of things are "AWESOME". So, abiding by his request, I will start the list now.

Not the word "Start" at the beginning of the sentence; there is no way I can get everything in here in one sitting.

AWESOME: (Not necessarily in order, the first two are, but after that it's random)

Comfy jeans
Wireless computer mice
Too many movies to count
Jane Austin
Lemonade after mowing the lawn
Barefeet on freshly mowed grass
The smell of rain
Female ninjas
Martial arts
Stylish hair-doos
Converse shoes
The color blue (That sounds like a great name for a book!)
The way snow looks on pine-trees
Black rimmed glasses
Vanilla white chocolate mochas
Caribou Coffee
My laptop (named: Lakisha)
Ted Dekker
V-neck T-shirts
French fries with a TON of salt and ketchup
Snickers and Recees
The combination of peanut butter and chocolate
Comfy couches
Lounge pants (preferably gray)
The military (hardcore to the max)
Large words

I have to go to class, but that is the beginning of my list of what I think is AWESOME!!!
According to Seth, I need to collect all these things and write them down over the summer, and have a completed list by then. Seth, rest assure that I will have my AWESOME list done by then! =)

(And smiley faces are AWESOME!!!)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

almost finished

My grandma is coming today. I'm excited. I have an awesome grandma. I can't wait to hang out with her! Plus, she loves reading, and I know she'll love to read my book, so i'm looking forward to showing that off.

I just made a huge plot twist. After watching different homicide detective shows, I can now create investigations interesting, unforseen plot twists, and mysterious activities with ease. One thing that I generally dislike about homicide shows is that they're predictable. I was just watching one last night, and the second that the killer (who when he was introduced, he was a normal guy who was unsuspecting) I whispered to Hannah that he was the killer, and I turned out to be right.

That show is Psych, and that show is usually unpredictable, so I enjoy that, but lately i've been really good. Yeah, i'm just trying to make everyone realize that i'm basically a real life investigative detective.

Today was the last day of speech class. All my classes are wrapping up. It feels nice. I will be able to spend a lot of time writing, now.

Not cool. A lady came into the computer lab, and out of the 50 empty computers to choose from that were by themselves, she chose the one that was right next to me (awkward, yes) and then turned the moniter like 40 degrees away from me and keeps shooting glancing at me. I'm trying not to look her way, because last time I did, she inched her moniter further away from me. Yeah... I won't be missing DCTC.

I will be applying for a job at a book distribution center called Mackin. It is about two blocks away from my house, and I hope to work mornings there moving and packing boxes, and working at Caribou part time in the evenings. I was going to take summer classes at Normandale, but I missed the deadline for registration, so I hope I get the job at Mackin, because I need to work a lot so I can have some money at college.

I need to find another roommate since the one I was planning on rooming with is going somewhere else... Matthew is irreplaceable; I don't want to get a random roommate, because it could be hell living with some random dude. I don't know if he's going to have athlete's foot, OCD, carry sticks of butter in his pockets, stay up until 3:00am every morning partying, hate me, or a nasty combination of all of them, in which case I would rather shower with a gorilla.

But, I will at least be at Taylor. Well, it looks that way so far. The financial stuff worked out, and I won't have much debt coming out, there is only one loose end to be tied up until the preverbal knot will be ready.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


Are you ready for awkwardness?
So, for as long as I can possibly remember, I thought the name for the line of hair on a male that starts under the belly button was called "The happy trail". I didn't think twice about the name, I just thought it was a normal name for anything else like ear, armpit, kneecap... happy trail...

But, apparently, not very many people call it the happy trail and will think you are majorly messed up if you call it such. I discovered this piece of information a while ago when my belt accedentally plucked out hair from my happy trail and I yelled in surprise and pain. I was with my guy friends and they all asked what happened. I then told them that my belt pulled hair off my happy trail. They looked at me in silence for about five seconds before there was an awkward clearing of the throat and they informaed me that no one calls it that.

Without thinking, I decided to bring it up with my sister and parents.


They just stared at me too. Advice from the not-so-wise, never under any circumstances call it a happy trail in public.

For the female readers who are now cringing, wishing they never started reading this post, don't worry, that story is finished.

Today was speech class. We are supposed to perform two speeches, both on the same topic, that are supposed to pursway the audience one way or the other. The second time you deliver the speech, you have to switch sides on the issue, so it forces you to see from someone else's point of view. Most people picked topics like abortion, same sex marraige, the death penalty...

I thought those topics were all too cliche and boring, so I went with the subject of which is the better superhero, Spiderman or Superman.
My first speech was for Spiderman, and today I spoke for Superman.

Everyone really enjoyed it because it was a change of pace and I did a lot of improv humor to make it more interesting. But, for a conclusion, I ripped open my shirt to reveal a superman costume underneath.

The most epic conclusion in the history of public speaking.

My speech teacher loved it. I can't wait to see his comments.

Tonight I am going to see the movie Iron Man 2. I can't wait. Iron Man 1 was really good, and I always love superhero movies, so I can't wait for the sequal.

My brother, Caleb, is coming home from Kansas in two weeks. I cannot wait!! I miss him so much! Also, he is bringing with him P90x.

If you have never heard of P90x then you have never felt your muscles burn. It is the most extreme workout program on the market. It is a 90 day program where you work out for at least an hour a day, and every other day is an hour and twenty minutes for an added 20 minute ab workout.

Most in shape young adult males, like my brother, cannot even stand after one of their workouts. Caleb is on week 2. He is getting used to the grueling pace, and already notices a difference in his breathing and his heart rate. He is bring it home with him and we're going to use it over the summer.

Yes, afterwards I will have the most epic 8-pack ever. Bring it on!

Monday, May 3, 2010

homocide detectives

It takes more wisdom to heed advice than it does to give it.

My dad gave me advice recently. He said that my writing would considerably improve if I read Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. The Da vinci code is one of the best selling books of all time. Over 80 million copies have been sold. That is a terrifying number. Dan Brown is renoun for his fast-paced writing style with short chapters and ruthless clinchers to keep the reader engrossed until the end.

The type of book that i'm writing needs the exact same style. I need fast paced action. So, yesterday I decided to leave for work early and drop by Barnes and Noble and pick up the book and read it for an hour to see how I liked it.

About to leave for Barnes and Noble, my mom stops me and notifies me that I need to return a book for her. She just got a book as a present, but she already had it, so she wanted me to return it for her. At first I consented, but a wave of realization came over me...

The title of the book? Overcoming Insecurity (for women).

Yes, that's right, it's a self help book for women. Oh my gosh. So, my mom was asking me to go up the register at Barnes and Noble, a male, and basically say: "Oh, I already have a copy of this book, so i'd like to return it".

Weirdo much?

My mom would not budge when I begged her to return it later in the week. So, I finally said yes. Standing in line I made sure that the book's cover was pressed tight against my leg so no one could see me carrying a women's self help book about overcoming their insecurities.

Getting to the register was stil awkward even though I explained it was for my mom as a present and she already had a copy. Oh well. I got a gift card out of the deal to buy a book that I wanted, so I bought Ted Dekker's book Burn.

What is it about a good mystery that intreages everyone? I cannot explain it. I need to figure out the case before the characters do. They're witty, quirky, and likable while solving a murder investigation. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I a confessing my addiction to Homocide Detective TV shows.

This is my guilty pleasure.

Actually, not so guilty. Just pleasure. I find nothing embarrassing about a good murder mystery.

I do, however, like pretty much every homocide detective TV show on the market right now. I only follow two of them consistently, but it's still embarrassing to confess how many of them I find entertaining.

NCIS LA, NCIS, CSI, CSI NY (I used to like CSI Miami, but the characters are boring so I stopped watching it) Castle, and Psych.

The two that I follow consistantly are Castle and Psych. They are extremely humorous and by far the most entertaining to watch. All thw NCIS's and CSI's are interesting, but get old quickly. I have watched select episodes here and there from them, but I love Castle and Psych.

I think I am going to put an investigation into my book. I have seen countless cases, and most of the time, I can call the killer and the means before anyone else can, and before the characters even suspect them. I like to think i'm a natural.

On another note, I re-injured a muscle in my leg. It's one that I pull all the time. If I ice it and take it easy for two days, I know I can kickbox abgain soon. We'l see.

Monday, April 26, 2010

dance dance

I have been practicing my ninja skills. Last night I kickboxed for an hour and a half, and I did it for about an hour today. As of afternoon, I could only kick once, maybe twice, before losing my balance and have to return my kicking leg back to the ground. So, all my kicks were powerful, but I was not very quick.

Now, I can (while kicking the bag, not thin air-it's harder that way) I can (without setting my foot down) kick the groin, chest, head, head chest groin. Six kicks, all different levels. I can do many variations of that kick,and sometimes do about ten kicks before setting my foot down. I can do it almost as good with my left leg as well. I've improved so much in the last two days; it is very fun.

That was one of my life goals, was to be able to do multiple kicks without setting my foot down. =)

I am starting stretching again because my pelvis is feeling better. So, I'm back on my splits plan. I'll give myself until May 20th. I have to regain my flexability because I haven't stretched in half a month because of the injury. So, i'll hopefully be able to do it in a little less than a month this time.

Don't you love those songs that come on the radio and make your entire day? That happened last night. I was flipping through the stations and found a "Dance Radio". They play techno/club dance beats, and they were playing the coolest song ever! It totally made my night as I pumped up the base on my drive back from work. I now have the song on itunes. If you want it, it's called: Wonderful Night by Fatboy Slim.

It makes me dance.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Does James Bond drink tea?

I just noticed an awkward hair that's sticking out on my face. I don't have a beard trimmer because technically i'm not manly enough to grow what would be commonly considered as a beard. But, that's not stopping me from having some awesome whisker action. Yeah, and I just noticed this awkward whisker sticking out on the side of my face. I hope it's not too noticable. I wish I had a siccors with me because I clip it...

I am sitting in Caribou with a Caramel Earl Grey Tea Latte. Heck to the yes.

Children, you heard uncle Ben correctly. He is drinking some tea as he blogs and writes his book. Maybe it's just me, but isn't that what old people do? Minus the blogging and maybe writing the book part. Sitting in coffee shops alone drinking tea. But, of course it's not any tea, it is a tea latte fusion, which is much sweeter and awesomer than regular "bleh" tea.

What i'm trying to get at is that I aged forty years since I blogged last. Yeah, i'm sixty. Okay, sixty isn't all that old. I aged fifty years, i'm seventy! There you go!

Your seventy year old uncle just burned his tongue on his tea. Oww. Everything will now taste like rubber for a week.

I read through my book from the beginning-something I normally don't do, but it gave me the proper perspective on where to go next, so that helped me greatly. I am about to sit down and write epic-ness. No... in case you're wondering, when i'm writing my book I usually don't use descriptors such as "awesomeness" and "epicness". I do that all on here because it's my blog. I don't need the approval of a lame editor and publisher in order to write what I want to. =) That makes me happy.

Is it strange that i'm listening to The Phantom of the Opera sounttrack while sipping tea in a coffee shop?

Dude, that lady can sing like nothing else. Seriously. Sorry that you're not listening to the Phantom of the Opera sounttrack.

Last night Nate Jordie and I went to Noodles & Company for some late night noodles. Hehe. "Late night noodles" sounded really funny. They're one of those places that ask for your name with the order. I replied: "Bond... James Bond."

The girl behind the counter laughed. That is a first. Last time I did that the cashier nodded and when my food came up they called out: "James your food is up!" I felt like screaming. Either that person has no humor or they have never heard of James Bond. in either case, their life is boring.

Monday, April 19, 2010

iced mochas and allergies

Let me introduce to you a revolutionary beverage by the name of: Campfire Mocha Cooler with White chocolate (small). Holy sweet pickles. It is amazing! It's my new favorite drink of the month.

Today I felt very responsible for taking the car to the auto shop and replacing the turn light that has been burned out for a month now. I got home to hear the news that I needed to clean the entire house. OK, slight exaggeration... I needed to clean every surface of the floor on every level of the house, clean the downstairs bathroom, my room, and the worst chore of them all... mowing the lawn. Usually I don't mind owing all that much, but Iam allergic to pollen. Mowing is hell. Honestly, I could barely breathe because I was wheezing so heavily and blowing my nose so frequently.

Yeah, so, afterwards I felt sorry for myself, so I treated myself to a Campfire Mocha Cooler with White chocolate (small) and yes, of course I got the daily trivia correct. I'm just that cool. No pun intended since I bought a cooler. Hehe.

I finally let my mom read my book. I never let anyone read my writing because I am never content with the quality I have, and I am overly critical on myself, and I don't show it, but Iam slightly tender when others critisize me, especially with my writing, so I like to have it perfect before I let anyone see it. But, it feels nice because my mom likes it. Yay.

Maybe I'll let some more people read it.

I can almost achieve one of my life goals. Going into a handstand from the position of sitting cross-legged. I am so close, and I can get there with a gentle push from my toes, but the hard part is once I'm parallel with the ground only being supported by my hands to raise my entire torso into the air. That kinda hurts. By kinda I mean really hurts.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

in dreams

So with my future unsure with colleges and money... i'm getting so tired of talking about serious topics. I mean honestly, I love to have fun. I can only handle so much seriousness in a week, and the past two or three weeks have been nothing but stern faces and no laugh-lines showing. Okay, not only, but primarily.

So, nothing in this blog post will be serious.

I just got some awesome alternative indie music. For those of you who don't know me extremely well, that is code for, my older bro is home! He has the most impressive collection of awesome music ever. We have the same taste in music, so I always stock up whenever he's here, and I am now listening to the band He Is We. Look them up on myspace, because you can get their entire CD for free there!! Yeah! They're pretty legit.

Yeah, I just used the word "legit" because it makes me feel hip and cool saying a main-stream term like that so flippantly.

I hate the words: Ample and Supple. Honestly, I cringe and I think a little bit barf comes up. Yeah, I just heard both of those words today, so that is the reasons for me mentioning it today.

There are a lot of words that I dislike. My least favorite word to say out loud is: rural. It is inhumane to create a word like that with two "R"s so close to each other, it leaves the mouth stumbling over itself trying to pronounce both of the Rs. I also hate the word Wholesome.

Anyways... my dream last night was disturbing. I dreamt that I walked into work to discover that we officially merged with a 50's style retro wiener shop. They re-decorated the entire store with nasty white and red tiles and my new manager didn't speak English. I then had to learn how to work their side of the store and the new policies.

I am so curious why I would even dream about that.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

empty blogs and empty books

Don't you hate it when the cursor sits in the same place and wavors... nothing coming to mind... wavoring again. It teases the fingers to start pressing keys-anything that will cease the methodical torture that is pressing the mind to do anythig but think.

I have nothing to blog about, and I am finding the cursor torturing me in my book and with my blog.

Why does this have to happen?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Mauy Thai Thighs

In Speech class we were supposed to do a persuasive speech. Most people selected topics like how TV is a bad influence for kids, illegal immigration is overrated, and some more mono-toned topics of the like.
I decided to do a topic that I would actually enjoy. Here was my Thesis statement: Spiderman is a better superhero than Superman.

Yes, I was comparing the two superheroes based on their powers, morals, and their real identity as Peter Parker/Clark Kent. Needless to say, the audience loved it, and I was passionate about it, and I think I bashed superman enough that now Kriptonite is not the only thing he's vulnerable to.

I barely got any sleep because of the monster of a storm we had last night; it was raining so hard my dreams involved the rain breaking down my wall and making my comforter soggy. Yeah, my subconscious is worried about a soggy blanket if the thunder storm tears down the house... at least i've got my priorities straight, right?

Last night I visited a Muay Thai martial arts center to see if i'd be interested in going there. It was a very interesting place. The instructors looked and acted like Baseball dads. They were not professional in the least, and they did not seem confident in what they were teaching. But, I got a great workout none-the-less.

The night felt like 3 hours, but incredibly, it was only 1 hour long.

We started out with 10 minutes of jump rope. If you've not done jump rope in a while, no, do not reach into the depths of your memory and picture the 7 year old you smiling and laughing while jumping rope on your driveway in the mid-summer breeze with lemonade on the steps for refreshmant. No. Within two minutes everyone is sweating. Withint five minutes, there is this annoying drip of sweat that won't fall off the tip of my nose, it just waits there lazily. Also, my rope was always getting tangled, so i'd constantly trip over it.

Then, we would take "breaks" within the ten minutes of jump rope to do sets of 10 pushups, 10 situps, and 10 air squats. Just to let you know, when I walked into the gym my thighs were already burning because I've been trying to work on my vertical so I can do aerial kicks. After I am drenched with sweat, we do some stretches, which I feel totally awesome because I can almost match the stretching abilities of both the instructor and the teenage cheerleader in the class. At least my attempts at the splits paid off for something, right?

Then I almost laughed out loud because I thought the instructor was joking when he said: "Okay, now everybody do 50 air squats with me!"

He wasn't joking.

I kept up and I was the only one in the class to keep pace with him. I feel pretty hardcore for being the only visitor, also having burning thighs entering the facility, and still doing better than the rest of them.

Then, the rest of the time was a series of drills on pads which left my shins red and itchy and I have a skinned right elbow. It was worth it, though. At one point I felt like i was going to throw up because there was an exercise which I think the total number of kicks completed was somewhere around 200 something. Yeah. It hurt.

So, I walk the halls of DCTC with burning thighs, red shins, and skinned elbow, but I know now some Mauy Thai strikes. I won't be joining the gym because it's a buttload of money for something that I can do on my stand-up bag in the basement and a jump rope. I don't think 120$ a month is worth that, do you?

My resolution for today is to get out of the writing block/wall i've hit in my book and find a way around it and get moving again. I've sort of reached a dead end and I have no idea where to go from there; i've been stumped for over a week now... I've got to figure this out today.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

im so gangsta i dont use punctuation

And now a rap about my day:

I woke up way too late
Maybe it's fate
or it's just me-
gettin' up quarter past eight

I didn't go to speech
Instead I heard a screech
Tellin' me to hurry or i'll be geetin' "D"s

I ignored the voice and waited on school
maybe i'm being a tool
but hey, i'm no fool
I'm not one to follow the rules
like Anikin Skywalker "I'm a slow learner"
I was like "Hey, I don't need fuel
to burn so just shut up and fall in line"

Art homework jumped out at me
Like a mad coach at a referee
I work to maybe surpass
The last of the cast
I finished real fast
And headed to school with a mooring mast

Set to win,
scared to fight,
I was wound in my plight
When I thought "Maybe just might"
So I ran into art with my arms full o' sketches
And my prof. gave a glance sayin' "Son, not tonight"

The rest of the time was slow motion
Like a bike without locomotion
He gave me a bottle and said: "Drink the potion"
It caused a great commotion

But I just chugged it and smiled
The prof. said I was the wild
one but I didn't care - 'cause I was beguiled
Like one whose with child

But nevermind art classes
That aint entertainin' the masses
Like the News reporting Gases
But no, I drove thru Wendys for a late night molasses

For a troubled stomach
I needed a Deluxe Bacon hold the lettuce

Extra side o' fries and a shake on the side
Make sure you got plenty o' napkins
for when I take sharp turns
Like the A-team dodging the burns
But no, I needed a chocolate shake
to subdue the headache
and extra salt on those fries
'cause they look good to my eyes
I know you feel me - we're the wise
ones as we drive thru
and we cause such a coo

So I get home to enjoy my dinner
When I pass by the mirror I notice I'm thinner
Yeah, i'm the lottery winner
Or maybe just a gold medal winner

Like Shawn Johnson doing back flips
Yeah, you're readin' my lips
But you ain't see this comin' 'cause it's not on the scripts


Thank you all so much for our encouragement, advice, and prayers, it really means a lot to me.

Life is better now. Sure, the circumstances are a bit better, but the main thing that changed was my perspective about it all, which I knew was off to begin with. Do you ever have those moments where you just need to throw yourself a pity party and act like there is nothing you can do about it all? Ignore planning and take up late night worrying.

Well, my little pity party is over. Thank you all for attending.

The main thing that helped change my perspective was Nate. I called him up at like 12:00am a few nights ago and just needed to talk to someone. He is usually responsible and goes to bed around 11, unlike me, but he happened to be up late that night, and we talked for a good hour and a half. It helped me a ton, and Nate, if you ever read this, I want to say thank you again.

The next day we got together over coffee, and he basically was like: "Ben stop whining and get your rear in gear". Yeah, that ryhmed. I thought it was cool too.

My future was the topic of conversation. He basically said that there's no plausible way to get 120,000 dollars unless I win the powerball *crosses finger* so, I should look into other options. He then told me that he has alays imagined me as a youth pastor or a student councelor or something. I have known Nate for 11 years, which is all of my mentally coherant life (I can't remember much from before the age of six, so I don't really count anything that happened way back then my fault).
Anyways, I have known him for so long, and I respect his advice higher than almost anyone else I know. So, it got me thinking. Nate then told me that there is a great college downtown minneapolis for only about 15,000 a year. It is a ministry college, and I could take some writing courses online at a commnity college or something so I can still improve at that, but also become a youth leader or something of the sort.

The idea hit me so hard I am still reeling, but I think it fits me. This may be why Taylor University suddenly "closed its door". But,when one door is closed, another one is opened, and this might be the one.

So, my perspective is changed, and my future is a little brighter. My mom got out of surgery and is recovring wondefully. The surgery went perfectly, and she will be walking normally in 3 months. She comes home tomorrow.

This will be interesting to be the mother of the house while being the youngest. Everyone else has even a crazier schedule than mine, so I bet I will be doing the cooking and such. I think I'll love it.

If you have never seen the TV show Castle, then you have never lived.

It is about a writer who shadows a detectiv on her homocide cases so he can write a more comprehensive mystery book. It is sooooo gooooood!!!

Anyways. My resolution for today is to go to sleep at a decent time. Yes, I meant for that to be extremely relative. And no, I will not share how scarily late I have been going to sleep...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

life happens

Wow. I just realized that my life kinda sucks right now.

My mom is getting both of her hips replaced on Tuesday. The recovery for the surgery is about a year (full recovery).

My dad is unemployed

Since my dad is unemployed and my mom won't be working for a while because of surgery, I'm starting to have to pay for gas (which isn't too horrid, but i only have a part time job, so it impacts me quite greatly...) and they can't helppay for Jiu Jitsu for me anymore, so i have to drop that. As a result, I will have to start paying for my own cell phone bill as well.

I just learned that if I go to Taylor University for a Creative Writing degree (exactly what i've had my eyes set on for about four years) I will be 120,000 dollars in debt when it's all over (that's estimating I follow the 10 year pay off plan) So, I may have to consider going to a State College or something... which would suck because Taylor has one of the best writing programs. Not many places get their students published their freshman year.

I just learned that my "pubic bone is torked" in the words of the expert. Apparently, my pelvis is completely messed up from me doing cray stuff for the last few years. My body has become accusmtomed to using the incorrect muscle groups because the ones i'm supposed to be using are are messed up. If I used the correct muscle groups in my hips an legs, and I continued trying to do the splits, my pelvis (worst case scenereo) would crack in half.

Needless to say,I am taking a break on the "month to do the slits" because I want to have a pelvis that is in tact. I'm supposed to massage some random places in my pelvis (it feels soooo weird!) Hopefully i'll be better soon.

Just learned that my job won't give me full time over the summer, so i have to get a new job as a server (i really don't want to do it, but I have no other option). So that is one more thing to think about because i should apply somewhere in the next month for summer jobs or they will all be taken.

I just learned that I may have to buy my own car over the summer because our family doesn't have enough cars for eveyrone to go to their jobs at the same time... I cannot afford a car let alone, car insurance, gas, cell phone bill, motnhly gym expenses, and looking for another martial arts gym that is cheaper (oh, and not to mention that little fee of 120,000 for college).

Oh, and I'm still taking 18 credits at DCTC. Need I say any more?

We're at a new church, which in itself is a good thing, but I know pretty much no one there. So, youth group is awkward because everyone has their own friends then there's me. And, there's not like group activities, so it's reaallyy hard to bond with people. If they had like an ice breaker thing at the beginning that would be cool. But, there's like 120 students there, and i'm one of the only ones who doesn't know anyone else. Crap.

The book that i'm writing should have been completed two months ago.

Usually when the circumstances around me suck like nothing else, I can remain positive while trying to solve the issues. I am not positive now...

Not to mention allergies are kicking in, so my throat itches, I'm sneezing, I either have a faucet for a nose or completely clogged.

And, to top everything off, I just got a hair cut, but the sides are too short, so they stick out like pieces on hay. Now I have to wait for a week and a half until my hair grows enough for them to stay down next to the rest of my hair.

Yeah, let's just say I'm not doing too well right now. Most of the issues are money related. Things would be so much easier if I suddenly had 200,000. I could pay for college, and invest the rest for a future house. Wishful thinking. Wishful thinking.

If you want to text me random happy things, I would not be opposed to it. (Hint hint)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

ingrid and ariels

I adore being home alone. I cannot explain it. I feel so independant, and I dance and groove to music over the surround sound speakers. Right now I'm listening to Ingrid Michaelson. She is amazing. I love her songs, she sounds so happy.

I took my art final. My Facebook status was just: "About to do an Art Final. I cannot believe I have survived through this class. I think I need to buy myself a Caribou Cooler or something as a present for being cool. Haha, pun intended. Get it? Cool.... Caribou Cooler... yeah, I thought it was clever too!"

I decided not to go to Caribou and get a drink, becase I realized that i'll be going there tomorrow. And possibly over the weekend. I have an intense caffiene addiction. So, in attempt to cut it down just a little bit, I decided not to go today.

My art final went well. My class is still sitting outside right now drawing. I left like 2 hours early. It's kind of embarrassing why i left so early. Our assignment was to draw 2 drawings and take about an hour and a half for each one. Here is my dilemma. I do not have the artistic ability to draw any scene for longer than forty minutes. For those of you who maintained your sanity and have not seen my drawing... I get excited if I draw a "stylish" looking stick man. Apparently my art prof. is not as impressed with myself as I am.

So, I drew 2 scenes and totaled about 1 hour and fifteen minutes overall. So, everyone else is still there drawing amazing stuff. But, I got out and already handed in my scribbling.

Go to that bwebsite if you have not smiled hugely today yet. If you don't know what The Onion is, then allow me to explain: it is a fake news staion that created funny/bogus stories for entertainment. Hopefully you could have figured that out by yourself if I didn't tell you that... when I first heard of it, I thought it was a legitamate news source for a month.


I am off to stretch and attempt ariels. Yes, I am going to try to do a cartwheel with no hands. I honestly have no idea what the move is called, but it looks awesome, and I think I can do it. So, I will now spend the next half an hour killing myself so I can finally get it!