Wednesday, March 31, 2010

ingrid and ariels

I adore being home alone. I cannot explain it. I feel so independant, and I dance and groove to music over the surround sound speakers. Right now I'm listening to Ingrid Michaelson. She is amazing. I love her songs, she sounds so happy.

I took my art final. My Facebook status was just: "About to do an Art Final. I cannot believe I have survived through this class. I think I need to buy myself a Caribou Cooler or something as a present for being cool. Haha, pun intended. Get it? Cool.... Caribou Cooler... yeah, I thought it was clever too!"

I decided not to go to Caribou and get a drink, becase I realized that i'll be going there tomorrow. And possibly over the weekend. I have an intense caffiene addiction. So, in attempt to cut it down just a little bit, I decided not to go today.

My art final went well. My class is still sitting outside right now drawing. I left like 2 hours early. It's kind of embarrassing why i left so early. Our assignment was to draw 2 drawings and take about an hour and a half for each one. Here is my dilemma. I do not have the artistic ability to draw any scene for longer than forty minutes. For those of you who maintained your sanity and have not seen my drawing... I get excited if I draw a "stylish" looking stick man. Apparently my art prof. is not as impressed with myself as I am.

So, I drew 2 scenes and totaled about 1 hour and fifteen minutes overall. So, everyone else is still there drawing amazing stuff. But, I got out and already handed in my scribbling.

Go to that bwebsite if you have not smiled hugely today yet. If you don't know what The Onion is, then allow me to explain: it is a fake news staion that created funny/bogus stories for entertainment. Hopefully you could have figured that out by yourself if I didn't tell you that... when I first heard of it, I thought it was a legitamate news source for a month.


I am off to stretch and attempt ariels. Yes, I am going to try to do a cartwheel with no hands. I honestly have no idea what the move is called, but it looks awesome, and I think I can do it. So, I will now spend the next half an hour killing myself so I can finally get it!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

office supplies

I have not complained about my school for at leasta week, so I think I will make everyone enjoy their lives not at my school.

For those of you who need reminding: I am taking PSEO classes at DCTC (Dakota County Tech College) But, I think a better acronym for DCTC would be something like: "Dakota's Centralization of The Creepers".

My most recent scare was in the bathroom last week. After drying my hands with the really cool hand dryers (probably the only nice thing about DCTC) I noticed that above the garbage cans was a hazardous disposable plastic container that said: "Dispose of your needles here".

I about wet my pants and ran. Everyone insists it is for diabetics, but honestly, those who claim that have never stepped foot in Dakota's Centralization of The Creepers. If you spent every weekday suffering in the concrete prison like walls, you would know.

Okay, I feel better now. I HATE DCTC. Never ever come here. I just feel bad for people who legitamitely come here. I am just here for my senior year of high school to get college credits out of the way before I have to pay 36K a year for a private college in the fall.

Let me explain the latter part of my post. I said that my resolution was the creation of an outline to better organize my life. Yesterday I did not have the chance to do it. No, that is not Ben procrastinating yet once again, I seriously couldn't do it.

I am listening to the book "How to Get Things Done" on audio on my to and from school. Matt, when he was visiting over the weekend, gave it to me. Seriously, Matt is amazing. He wastes no time. Every freaking day he is scarily productive in everything he does. It is kind of sad to see the contrast between him and me. BUT! I now have the resource that made him so productive.

How to Get Things Done is a book on how to get things done... I felt like clerifying that for you. It is how to organize your life easily so all the things you need to get done seem less daunting and you have a timeline on when to do them. It is perfect for me.

So, my plan was to drop by Office Max yesterday and buy a few filing stuff, but I couldn't because I had to drop by the Liscence Bureau to change my liscence because they spelled my name: "Benjaimin" if that looks normal to you, read it again. And they mispelled my last name too. So, accordin to the government, I do not exist, but Benjaimin does.


So, I spent the money in my wallet to change it, and thn realized I didn't want to use my Debit card to get the Office supplies because I lost my checkbook and I still can't balance anything.

My life sucks.

Yeah, so I will get the office supplies soon.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Today I played basketball. I paused for a moment while writing "Basketball" because I was trying to find a play on words to make it sound like the sport sucks... but I thought of nothing creative, and now i'm rambling.

I am pretty natural when it comes to sports. I can pick up quickly on most sports, and I love being active, working out, doing martial arts, ping pong (yes, it IS a sport!), soccer, football, ultimate frisbee, broomball, biking, jogging, kickboxing, boxing, and anything else you can imagine.

But... I have two exceptions. I hate baseball because it's boring and waayyy too slow moving. The founders of baseball were like: "I am slow and fat and unathletic, what sport can we create to look cool while being lazy at the same time?" And hence the creation of baseball. And so I hate the sport with everything in me.

Secondly, I hate basketball. A few reasons have fueled my intense un-desire for the popular sport... but a few of them are:

I have glasses, so I am afraid that they'll be destroyed during a game, so I don't play as intense as I would without them

I don't know all the rules. I was defending a guy from shooting, and I extended my arm to hold him back, and then everyone agreed that it was a foul, then they got the ball at the top of the 3 point line.

A few minutes later, everyone else starts doing the same stiff-arm move that I previously got called out on, but no one says anything, and they are all very obvious. I think they change the rules in the middle of the game so it's easier for them to win.

Also, I have no game. I am usually good at any sport, even if I just start it. But, this is not the case with this cursed game. You are supposed to lob a rotund object ten feet in the air and pray to god that it falls within a tiny metal ring that is not much bigger than the orb itself. It is nearly impossible, and I swear that the guys I play with have magic powers or use high powered magnets to score.

I'm that awkward guy on the court that no one wants to pass to that when he gets the ball he kind of starts to freak out because he never gets the ball, so he ahs no idea what to do with it.

It's weird, I have never been in that position in my entire life aside from on the basketball court. I hate that feeling.

Ooh, so me and Matt, my friend visiting over the weekend from Indiana for my birthday, went to visit one of our friends that was in Minnesota for a college visit. We were going to meet at Applebees, because they are famous for being open late, and we were going to meet at about 10:00pm. So, we Google Applebees to see what comes up, and we find their main website.

I was happy that I found it so quickly, so I went on it, but I couldn't for the life of me find the store hours. So, I went of their "FAQS" page. They had every question (I kid you not) from "Can I open my own Applebees store?" to "What animal welfare standards does Applebees have?"

And, what do you know, no closing times were listed. Haha.
I finally found it on and called the store directly. It was quit humorous.

Okay, i have to go. My resolution for today is to set up a system in which I can organize my life and be less stressed and get more things accomplished as a result of it. I will write more about it later.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

welcome to geek-dome; we've been expecting you

The splits are going pretty well. Is it normal to hurt all the time when stretching so often? My legs hurt kinda all the time now. Not a bad pain, it's a good pain... but it is kind of sucky to walk and wince. But, I am determined to achieve it in one month.

My friends notified me that it is ten times easier for females to do the splits than males. So, comparing myself to an athletic 19 yar old girl who could do it in one month is unrealistic.

But, you know what? If my life was based on normal and sub-par things, what fun would that be? I can do it in one month. And when I get it, I will go further than the splits. I will set books under my feet when I do the splits so I stretch past the splits.

That's right, I'm hardcore.

Okay, if you've started to think: "Wow, Ben is so cool." Then what I am about to tell you next will completely destroy that presumption of my character. Which, I don't really care what you think, because what I am about to tell you is freaking awesome.

I hung out with Josh Gates for like 8 hours the other day. He is awesome. That was sooo fun! No, that was not the thing that makes you think I am uncool, because anyone friends with Josh is automatically awesome.
Josh got a new awesome hobby. It's called SpeedStacking. It is a series of plastic cups in which you have to stack the cups on top of each other in pyramids in various amounts... it is so addicting!! Josh and I did doubles, where we each used one arm, so it's basically two different people only using one arm. It is sooo fun!
We pwned.

And, we played Batle for Middle Earth on PC. For those of you who have been saving your soul from geek-dome and nerdiness, I may have to define what "BFME" is. (Battle for Middle Earth)

It is a computer game in which you command the armies of Lord of the Rings against the forces of Mordor and Isengard. Josh and I took on 6 armies on hard and we only used two people to do so. We didn;t use our armies, we only used 2 heroes and we destroyed 6 hard armies.

That may sounds impressive even if you don't know what it's like, but for those of you who have played BFME, you will be sweating jealousy at our mad skillz.

Right now I am at school and I am here with no classes until 6:00pm... if you glance at the time of this post it is 12:40pm. Yeah, my life sucks.

So, I will now go to Caribou Coffee to be productive with writing my book and I might actually start on an assignment that's due tonight.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

new look

I changed the look of my blog as you can tell. I love it and I hope you do too.

I'm about to go to bed, it's really late... but before I do, I would like to express my happiness at how spring-ish it's been the past few days. So, I will share a poem with you about spring that I wrote a while ago.

The rain falls ever down,
The grass likes the shower,
The mice chatter and frown,
The bugs hide and cower.

The birds caw and coo,
The fawns leap and prance,
The cows chew and moo,
The frogs croak and dance.

The rain goes pitter-patter,
The animals prance and dance.

When spring time is here,
Rain is always near.

Let's just hope the rain stays away for now. But, I hope you're all enjoying the weather as much as I am!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

hello world

My resolution for yesterday was the start daily stretching, my ultimate goal is to be able to do the sideways splits by April 22nd.

Okay, to set this resolution, I had two sources for the inspiration. One of them being a co-worker. Her name is Catalina. We work together at least once a week; she's really nice. Anyways, she was just telling me of how she could now do the splits. She said that a month ago, she could barely do anything, but now she could easily do the complete splits. She then explained the stretches that she does so she got to this point. The whole time I was thinking to myself: "If she can do it, then I can do it."

Then the last straw for me to get me off of my lazy butt was the new blog I found. I mentioned it in my last blog update. Anyways, the writer is around 40 years old and can do the splits. Wow. I desperately hope I am that limber when I am 40.

So, after having a 19 year old girl and a 40 year old woman both able to do the splits while me, an athletic 18 year old male is still restricted makes me want to break down my physical barriers. I have always wanted to do the splits, but I've never dedicated time to stretching.
After realizing that I do Jiu Jitsu, soccer, running, kickboxing, and frequently daydream about being a ninja then it hit me: I have not attempted to increase my level of skill. I have been practicing some pretty cool kicks on my bag in the basement, but I have not gone for aerial moves yet. I know I can do it, but I have not dedicated time to it. After I can do the splits, I think I'll be able to do a lot more than I can do now.

Anyways, yes, I had a mini pity party for myself before deciding that I need to set higher goals for myself and keep myself accountable to those goals... hence this blog.

I still cannot find my checkbook. Yes, it's been about 2 months now. This is really scary. In my most recent bank statement, all the purchases have been my own... so, it still has to be in the house somewhere, it's just that I have turned the house inside out and it is still hidden somewhere in the dark corners of my lacking peripheral vision.

Speaking of peripheral vision... I have decided that I will continue going to Target until I can put in contacts. This is something I have to conquer. I am not scared of many things in this world. I can think of three off the top of my head: Clowns, peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth, and putting in contacts.

Maybe not in that specific order, but the point is, that I am seriously scared to touch my eye.

My book is coming along well. I have not blogged about it in a while, have I? Have I even gone into detail of it before? I can't remember. Anyways, I just bought a book online about co-authoring business contracts. Yes, I need to write a contract now so that when I finish, my co-author won't suddenly say he gets 70% of royalties. (which would never happen, he's a very nice man) but, I need to be safe. And, our business agreement needs to be put on paper.

A producer in CA is looking at my story line as a possible movie idea. I don't think i've written on this before. But, the goal of the book is to get it published, then, Lord willing, turn it into a movie.

As I said, a producer in CA loves the idea. A directer in heaven knows where said that he and his entire family (all in the movie making business) love the story line and want the book to be done quickly so they can work on it.

To give you some perspective here... the directer is one of the three men George W. Bush consulted before he sent troops into Iraq. He was a consulter to the President. Dude. And, one os his sons is a movie critique, and another one of his sons is a freakishly talented special effects guy who was invited to do graphics for the new movie Avatar.

Yes, they want to make the book from an 18 year old author into a movie.

Monday, March 22, 2010

good and not so good

Today was a mixture of the great and the not-so-great.

Let's start with the not-so-great.
I had my near death experience scheduled for 2:00 today at Target. I was supposed to sit in a swivley chair until I could plant a contact lense onto my eyeball. I sat in that chair for one hour. One long hour I repeatedly touched a lense to my eye. After being irritated for 60 minutes, my eye started watering and was very bloodshot. I never actually got it in. For one hour I failed time and time again to get it in. I was right... I should have brought a sweat towel. It was hard work.

I had red pressure marks under my eyes from holding it to my cheekbone, and a red pressure mark on my forhead from pinning my eyelashes to the bone. Apparently it is pretty easy to put contacts in. Major emphasis on "apparently".

The good part(s) of the day were:

Church. We visited a church about four minutes from our house called Crossroads. It was seriously exactly what I wanted in the church, in every aspect. The people were young-ish, there were a lot of youth, the pastor was awesome, the worship was so kick-butt it's not even funny, and there is about 500 people (perfect number I think). Needless to say, I want to go there. It is the first church that we've visited, and I think our search is over.

Another great part of my day was finding an incredible blog online. I was searching for a ninja training summer camp... yes, I do do strange things in my free time... when Google directed me to a blog. It is a blog of a 40 year old woman who is an author and recently wrote a book with the main charecter being an athletic young woman who is an adventurer much like a female version of Indiana Jones. Anyways, she realized after writing the book that the charecter is exactly what she wanted to be, but she never dedicated the time or effort to do the extreme things that her character does. So, this blog is her journey to become like her character. She takes Freerunning classes, martial arts, learns how to pick locks... it is so cool. She is a single woman, never married, no children, so she wants to make the most of the extra money she has.

Here is the link. If you have extra time, read it. Start at the beginning though, it's totally worth it.

My resolution for tomorrow is to start my way to be able to do the splits. I will start with the sideways splits. I would like to eventually be able to do the splits both ways. I will start with the sideways one facing both ways. I want to be able to do it in one month. So, April 22nd it is. I'd better own!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010


My birthday was yesterday. I am now 18 years of age. That makes me happy. I feel older already, actually. I believe that this is the first year in which I feel older the day after my actual birthday; it usually has to sink in for about a month or so. I think the ecxeption is this year is that i've been wanting to be 18 for a long time, and the past few months I feel like i'm 18 because I hang out with people older than me, and go to a Tech college, I drive myself places, I have a job, I floss my teeth, I am semi-responsible, my room is usually messy... the average 18 year old duties and responsabilities I am now doing = I feel like i'm 18
At least that is my humble theory.

So, for my birthday present I got contacts! Yes, like the ones you put in your eyes. I will no longer have glasses! I do like my glasses, and I will occasionally wear them to look smarter, or if my eyes are just hurting... but, contacts are the new age of... civilization? Maybe just Ben's life, I think contacts took over the "glassed" community a while ago.

Interesting story. Do you like stories? Good, because so do I. I like to tell them and you like to listen to them; wow, we make a good team! Hey, you'd love my blog! Oh, wait, you're on my blog!! I guess you DO love my stories!

That makes me happy.

Back to the story. So, this morning I went to Target(R) (In case you're wondering what that: (R) is doing there, it is because there is nowhere that I can see on my keyboard that has a circle... and I want to warn you that the name of Target(R) is reserved...)
Anyways, I was in the Vision section of Target(R) at 10:00am this morning. If you know me well enough you should be gasping: "Ben!! What are you doing in a public setting at 10:00am? Don't you become fully human around 11:30?"
To that I would say: I was not fully human.

So, the not fully human version of Ben was in the vision section of Target(R) when I had to wait for 30 minutes for my appointment... it was their fault, I started 30 minutes later than I was scheduled. But, I was kept company by farm animals laying on the table in front of me. They were very disproportional... the chicken was as tall as the horse. They either bred pigmy horses or monster chickens. It scares me either way.

After playing with the farm animals, the doctor finally came out I think his full title is something like: "Optical-doctor-put-my-finger-in-your-eye-took-10-years-of-classes-and-have-my-PHD-so-I-can-ask-people-what-letters-they-can-read-on-a-chart.

But, he had the shortened version of his title on his name-tag, because it would be one large name-tag to fit his whole title. So it said something like: Optometrist.

Anyways, the scary eye torture dude took me into his lair. I was nervous because I knew he would flash bright lights in my eyes and want to poke it. I don't like bright lights or poky thingies near my precious eye balls. I ask him not to dialate my eyes when I first walk in because I need to work a 5 hour shift and I need to have normal sized pupils in order to not freak people out... they might think i'm a follower of Voldemort with black eyes...

I think he was dissapointed that he couldn't dialate my eyes. He shone some bright lights in my eyes, which left blue spots all around the room. I hate that sensation with a firey passion. It feels like i'm going blind when that happens.

The worst part by far was when he had to put the contacts in my eyes. He had to measure my eyeballs and see how the contacts fit. Usually it takes about 3 times to put a lense in an eye but it took him about 30 times for the right eye, and over 40 for the left. It was... soooo bad.

Halfway through, my eyes were sore, watering, and I was weak from flexing (flexing while he does it makes me feel tough like I can endure the torture of him touching my eyeball). When I said: "I bet this is what hell will be like, someone contsantly trying to put a contact lense in your eye but it never going in." He laughed really hard.

When he got them both in it was amazing. I had better than 20/20 vision according to my eye test with the contacts, and I finally had peripheral vision for the first time ever. It was heaven.

I can put contacts in for the first time by myself tomorrow. I have another appointment tomorrow to have some vision ladies help me learn how to put it in. It will be soooo terrible. Seriously, it will take at least two hours to just put it in and then take them out. Wow... I should bring a sweat towel with me.

Wish me luck.

Monday, March 15, 2010


Today is the best day that I have had that I can remember. Honestly, I cannot describe with words how much it rocks.

Lets put this feeling into perspective. Today is awesomer than all these things:

Getting a girlfriend
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Roller Coasters
Women in general (Hard to beat this one for sure)
Caribou Coffee (Also difficult to beat)
And glasses that make you look smarter

Have you guessed it yet?! It's called JESUS!! Today my life is different. Do you know those times when you can point to and you say to yourself: "That was a monumental change in my life". I think today was one of them. I just decided to surrender everything I was to God, which I knew I was supposed to do since I was 5 years old, but lately I've noticed how big of a loser I am and how much I need God to live. The verse in 2nd Corinthians really stands out to me that says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
That verse is one of my favorite. It reminds me that me as a human being does not have to be strong whatsoever. It reminds me that in order to survive, I NEED to acknowledge my weakness. And through some circumstances lately I cannot help but notice how weak I am. It is impossible to deny how lame I am without God, and I feel inredible now that i've re-come to that realization.

So, participate in my rejoicing with me! Get up off of your seat and dance! Groove like Jesus would!

So, yes, my day has been amazing.
I got up at 12:00 after dreaming about meeting he girl I was supposed to marry, then she told me that she was engaged and getting married in 30 days. Wow, talk about a deppressing dream.. right? After I woke up I took a wonderful shower, read my Bible, then started researching Revelation in detail. I read Revelation for a while, then talked with my dad about different views on the end times, then I read some Biblical Commentaries, then watched a pod-cast from a kick-butt preacher about it. And as I type this I am in Caribou after an hour of researching and taking notes.

I have spent at least 5 hours researching Revelaion today. I cannot think of a better way to spend my Spring Break than spending all day in the Bible, praying, and listening to preachers. I cannot describe in words how much I wish I could dance well, because right now I feel like dancing!!

So, if lately you've felt like a loser, like you are weak... maybe life at home with your siblings aren't honoring to God... maybe you've lost track of God in your day to day life... remember, that reading the Bible will re-set your heart to the desires of God. Spnd time with Him. He wants to be with you, all you need to do is let Him talk with you.

He will never dissapoint you.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I have discovered something that makes me very happy. Listening to a feel-good band with a british female singer. Wow; I thought "feel good" had one meaning, but when you add a female british singer, my soul takes flight. Wow. I adore british accents, it's not even cool.

I will marry a british woman one day.

Right now I am sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop lighting up my face. The light above me is not on, so my eyes feel weird staring into the only light present with peripheral vision not havig much light to work with. A white comfy blanket is warming up my feet. I am wearing the most comfy sweat pants ever. Whenever I wear these pants I feel happy. There was apile of used tissues on the floor to my right, but I recently pciked them up and put them in the trash. Strange. I did two things in the same sentence that I never do. I called them "tissues" instead of "Kleenexes" and I called it "trash" when I always call it "garbage" which actually makes no sense now that I think of it. Garbage is the thing that you put inside the container. I guess i'm just using a shortened version of garbage bin or garbage can. Yes, I save .9 seconds by not saying "can" or "bin" but now I am wasting the collected .9 seconds of my life by explaining my reasoning of why I do that with you.

Also, kleenex is the brand, not the thing. But I grew up calling it kleenexes.

The song switched to Tik Tok by Ke$ha. I feel like a rebel whenever I listen to this song. Ke$ha is just a wannabe part-ay girl. The beat to the song is so catchy.

I switched the song back to the british woman. I am smiling right now.

Right now I should be in class. But, I am very sick. I have a cold multiplied by ten thousand. Yesterday my chest was trying to explode, but my ribs contained the explosions leaving me hacking for air, which tore up my trachea. My nose is red and dry from rug burn from so many tissues. Tissue burn. Kleenex burn. So, i've been roughing the Clarrisa Designer Series facial tissues that are extra soft, strong, absorbent, and sensitive to your nose. Yes, I did just copy that off the bottom of the box of Clarrissa tissues. Who names a tissue company Clarrissa? Apparently Clarrissa does. Whoever that is.

So, yeah. I skipped class yesterday because of the mini explosions going on inside my chest. And, I was so drowsy, I couldn't think straight. Maybe I should proof read that essay that I wrote yesterday, I don't trust my drowsy subconscious to make up an essay that will not embarrass me.

My butt is sore from sitting on this wood chair almost all day. I've been watching NCIS and CSI a lot of the day. Then I watched one episode of Amazing Race. That was boring. The Amazing Race was not amazing. I left it unamazed.

I've been using a lot of chapstick to balm my chaped lips from breathing through my mouth all the time because my nose is plugged.

Whenever I get sick I am aways envious. You know those naturally beautiful people? Like those girls who look incredible without any make-up, in PJs, and messy hair? Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, but I am not one of those people. WHen I am sick, I look terrible. I have honestly encountered girls who are apparently having terrible colds at the moment that look amazing. Yeah, I just look like a dazed, dizzy, sleep deprived, sniffling, nose running, droopy-eyed, slumping dude who carries ten tissues in each pocket just in case of an emergency. I wish I was one of those people who could do all of that while looking amazing. Whatever. Give me three days and i'll be back in black.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

muddles for thoughts

My resolution was to read my Bible the other day.
To be completely honest, I did not. To be completely honest once again, I barely had any time to do so.

Good news though. Matt Lorentz, my future roommate at Taylor University and an amazing young man, called and talked for a while. He challenged me, and God totally spoke through him directly to me. Seriously, it was so legit. It was exactly the wake up call I needed.

Matt Lorentz is... wow, he is so awesome. Girls, watch out for this young Godly warrior! The wife he will one day get will be so lucky. Seriously, it is an honor to know someone with such deep conviction, wisdom, and drive for what is right.

Lately i've been super duper sick. I'm on cold meds. it sucks. My nose is either stuffy or runny, and not much in between. My head is foggy, my vision is weird, and my thinking is muddled. I just can't wait until I get better.

In film studies today we watched a movie called "Being There". It was an awkward and slow movie. It was kind of interesting, but overall blehh.
For the last two movies there has been sex scenes, and both times I just look down at the table. After this movie, the teacher actually mentioned that I look away during the sex scenes in front of the whole class and everyone laughed. At first I was embarrassed. Then, I realized that there was no need for me to be embarrassed. I was the only one doing the right thing. A verse from Romans comes to mind. I will paraphrase it by saying: "Do not be ashamed of the Gospel, for it life for all who hear it."
I look back on everyone laughing, and the teacher who had the gaul to say that in front of everyone, and I am proud now that what I did was manifested to the entire class. Maybe it touched someone in there. Maybe it convicted someone. I'll never know. All I know is to do what is right and God will do with it as He will.

My resolution for tomorrow is to take Matt Lorentz's advice. =)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Rectus Femorous

My resolution for yesterday was to find my checkbook. It is still lost.

Yeah. That's right. My financial life is hidden somewhere in the dark corners of the Schmitt home, leaving Benjamin scared, not knowing if his checkbook is properly balanced, or how much money is in his bank account. It is kind of like losing your watch or cell phone, and you're outside with no way to tell the time, and you wonder to yourself what time it is, because your entire life runs on the concept of time.

There was a study done where a few guys were put in a cell with no way to tell the time (no windows or anything whatsoever) and at first they almost went crazy because they needed to know when to eat, sleep, and everything, because without their normal surroundings, their body-clock was thrown off, and they had no idea what time it was.

After a while, they eventually simpley ate when hungry, and slept when tired. But, I cannot imagine how terrible that would be without any knowledge or acces to the information to what time it is.

I feel like I am part of an experiment to see how long it takes to turn a teenager crazy without the knowledge of how much money they have. So far I think it's working. Hopefully I last longer than their other test subjects.

I pulled or tore a muscle in soccer on Friday. Thanks to Becky, I now know what the muscle that I pulled is called "Rectus Femurous". I probably mis-spelled that, but so what. I feel intelligent for knowing the technical name of it whether I mis-spelled it or not.

It's the muscle on the top part of your quad. Its right beneath your hip, and a right next to the groin muscles. You use this "Rectus Femorus" to lift your leg while walking, stretching out to lay down, lift the leg for a kick (I am taking a break from Jiu Jitsu as a result) and sitting up, and coughing hurts.

I'm pretty much screwed.

My resolution for today is to read my Bible and meditate on it. It's been too long since I've taken out my Bible and simply read it. Shame on me.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

no one here but us interspersed lettuce leaves

My resolution for yesterday was to own at homework.

I had 3 essays due last night, a 9 minute speech to prepare, and 3 huge art projects that were due tonight.
I left my art class early yesterday so I could do homework. I was bored out of my mind as it was, so leaving early made my day. On the way home, I was talking to myself when I came to the realization: "Ben, you are under too much stress. You are focusing on homework and on the negative things of life all the time. Let it all go! Worrying about it won't solve anything!"

I was so pumped up by my motivational speech to myself I wanted to celebrate my freedom from stress and do something fun. So, I cranked the classical station and headed to Caribou on the way home from school. I got a ridiculously delicious Snickers Cooler (if you've never tried it, you've never lived).

That made my day, so I was totally ready to own school and show it who Ben Schmitt really is!
I got home to the amazing smell of pizza in the oven. As if my day couldn't get any better!! So, I enjoyed pizza with Hannah, then I plugged my laptop into some speakers and cranked my party music.

I finished homework at 12:00am last night. I totally pawned.

My resolution for today was to be amazing in my speech. It was a demonstrational or informative speech. So, I decided to do close to no work in preparation and went with the topic "How to write a 5 paragraph essay effectively".

It is a boring subject, but I think I spiced it up with animated hand motions, facial expressions, illustrations on the white board, and a snazzy vest. (A suit vest over a graphic T... heck yes, i'm just a regular old fashion model over here).

I was so nervous going up, but once I got up I decided not to be nervous but be confident, and it worked. And I totally winged most of it, and it turned out wonderfully.

I just passed a sign at DCTC that said: "Donate blood today at the blood drive!"
It was on a mini-whiteboard in a busy hallway. I had a brilliant idea, but there were no dry-erase markers present, so I am left to imagine my plot.

I'd write under it: "Edwarde Cullen wants YOU!" And then draw a vampire smiley face.

That would be the epitome of amazingness.

Today I learned that "intersperse" is a word. I now officially hate that word. It sounds like the speaker or writer of that word was trying to hard to sound smart... "I will now intersperse the lettuce across my plate."

WHY NOT JUST SAY "seperate"? That makes me mad. If you couldn't tell my the caps lock. If someone uses caps lock, the voice that you always mentally think of when reading something turns to yelling. It is quite effective.

I learned that if you make that voice when you're reading a boring textbook turn to a british accent, you pay attention so much better. It is fun.

My resolution for tomorrow is to find my checkbook. If I don't find it I am screwed for life. I have no idea what I can do without it. Help!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

mucho trabajo

I left you off with me in the middle of the day yesterday, not yet completed my resolution of using an utterly huge word that no one really knows the meaning to unless they read dictionaries and thesaruses for relaxation.

I did not use a very long word. I used a word that you have all heard before, but practically no one completely understands it. Some may not know how to define it, and others don't know how it works.

The word I ended up using was not in attempt to awe someone, unfortunetally, but it was in awe of Seth Johnson who was explaining Binary to me. Yes, the word that I used was "binary".
I feel very smart knowing that with only two of your hands (no not all three of them ;) ) with only ten fingers, you can count to 1,023 in binary. Yeah, when Seth told me that I freaked out. So, now I feel quite intelligent for knowing that random piece of information.

I actually started blogging right now because I realized that I have not set a resolution for myself today. Merely thinking about my schedule makes me break out in hives.

So far today here are my responsibilities: go to art class, pick mom up from work, eat dinner (you may be wondering why I put those down, but those are the things that are inhibiting me from completing my tasks that I need to get done today) after dinner, I need to write 3 essays for writing class, write and reherse a 9 minute speech that I just started thinking about and that I present tomorrow morning, and then create 2 huge art assignments for my night class tomorrow, both of which will take me forever and a day to complete. I think I will be up tonight until 1:30am working on school.

Okay, I take all the blame, I have been putting it off, and I have had plenty of time to do it this week. But, still, tonight will suck like nothing else.

I want pasta.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


My resolution for today was to use an unusually large word in normal conversation.

I went to and went under the words of the day, and found some great words that I can't even pronounce. Many syllables and a headache later, I found the right one.
My plan: To use it in my film studies class when discussing the movie. One small problem though. I forgot the word. I still don't remember what it is. I remember that it meant untraditional or unconventional... or something like that. The word was a beast. One that I wanted to tame. But, it looks like that wild stallion broke from its pen and now roams free leaving this cowboy horse-less.

Don't worry, if you didn't understand that analogy, I assure you, you're not the only one.

The movie that we were forced to watch was called "hair". I fondly call it "Hair(y)". That movie is so utterly despicable. It is the worst piece of trash anyone has ever recorded and forced into the public for their torture. It turns out that Hair is my Film Studies Teacher's favorite movie. That doesn't surprise me.

The singing was decent. The lyrics were... yeeaahhh. The worst song I will not even mention. The second worse song was a row of black Lieutenants singing about delicious white boys... wow, that movie was utterly petrifying, especially for something made in the 60's.

The dancing.
You know what, I take that back. It is a disgrace to the name of dance to consider their flailing and wobbling dancing. Half of it was drunken staggering and arm flailing. When they tried to be choreographed, they were totally off beat. Their "stunner" moves involved lots of jumping, some knee slides, and an occasional male picking up a female and tossing her into the air. This is not supposed to be high school cheerleading, this is supposed to be a ground-breaking song and dance movie. Wow.

If I never see Hair(y) again for as long as I live, I will die a very happy man. I cannot honestly conceive how it is humanly possible to watch that movie more than once and maintain your sanity. Honestly. That's why my teacher is so weird.

I did not complete my resolution so far today, but I still have time. I think I may use it tonight. I will blog about it later, but I just needed to express how terrible the movie was or I was going to explode.

Monday, March 1, 2010


My resolution for today was to clean up, organize my checkbook etc...

I did do some kick butt cleaning. It's the type of cleaning that when you're done you say to yourself: "Wow... I feel great!"

Without further ado, I will now bring you all to the "oops-athon" the part of the show where Ben will write his "oops" moments of late.

After work I cut off my boss in the parking lot. OOPS!

After cutting my boss off in the parking lot, we pulled into the same gas station at lanes that are right next to each other. OOPS!

I tried to balance my checkbook today, but realized that it is nowhere to be seen, and I have not seen it for about 3 weeks. OOPS!

Made a comment about the boy in the movie we watched in Film Studies class, but the boy was a girl and I couldn't tell. OOPS!

I hope that was enjoyable to you. It was not to me.

I think I will go into a little more detail about my meeting with the Marine Recruiter, I touched on it in my previous update, but did not go into any details.
To get to Special Forces I need to go to Basic Training. In Basic Training, there are many tests like a gun test... etc.. And, if I score high enough in those tests (all hands on tests) (I can redo them all about 3 times) then I can have a shot at Special Forces Training. After Boot Camp I would go to Infintry training which is apparently difficult and awesome. There, I would have to pass more tests which would enable me to get to Special Forces Training. After Infintry training, then I could get into a SF training. They have certain weeks on specific abilities such as a 3 week crash swimming coarse. If you fail the swimming test at the end of the 3 weeks, then you are booted out of SF training and cannot retry for another 6 months. That goes for any test in SF, and there are a lot of tests.

But, it is a lot easier than I thought it was.
Those were the basic things that I learned from my time there. The meeting was good. THe guy was nice. He said he was impressed that I was so put together for my age. It made me feel accomplished.

I am still deciding between writing and military. Bleh.

My resolution for tomorrow is find a really long and usually unused word that is only ever heard in spelling bees, and use it in every day language and see the reaction of the listeners.

I hope to use this one in class.