contacts

My birthday was yesterday. I am now 18 years of age. That makes me happy. I feel older already, actually. I believe that this is the first year in which I feel older the day after my actual birthday; it usually has to sink in for about a month or so. I think the ecxeption is this year is that i've been wanting to be 18 for a long time, and the past few months I feel like i'm 18 because I hang out with people older than me, and go to a Tech college, I drive myself places, I have a job, I floss my teeth, I am semi-responsible, my room is usually messy... the average 18 year old duties and responsabilities I am now doing = I feel like i'm 18
At least that is my humble theory.

So, for my birthday present I got contacts! Yes, like the ones you put in your eyes. I will no longer have glasses! I do like my glasses, and I will occasionally wear them to look smarter, or if my eyes are just hurting... but, contacts are the new age of... civilization? Maybe just Ben's life, I think contacts took over the "glassed" community a while ago.

Interesting story. Do you like stories? Good, because so do I. I like to tell them and you like to listen to them; wow, we make a good team! Hey, you'd love my blog! Oh, wait, you're on my blog!! I guess you DO love my stories!

That makes me happy.

Back to the story. So, this morning I went to Target(R) (In case you're wondering what that: (R) is doing there, it is because there is nowhere that I can see on my keyboard that has a circle... and I want to warn you that the name of Target(R) is reserved...)
Anyways, I was in the Vision section of Target(R) at 10:00am this morning. If you know me well enough you should be gasping: "Ben!! What are you doing in a public setting at 10:00am? Don't you become fully human around 11:30?"
To that I would say: I was not fully human.

So, the not fully human version of Ben was in the vision section of Target(R) when I had to wait for 30 minutes for my appointment... it was their fault, I started 30 minutes later than I was scheduled. But, I was kept company by farm animals laying on the table in front of me. They were very disproportional... the chicken was as tall as the horse. They either bred pigmy horses or monster chickens. It scares me either way.

After playing with the farm animals, the doctor finally came out I think his full title is something like: "Optical-doctor-put-my-finger-in-your-eye-took-10-years-of-classes-and-have-my-PHD-so-I-can-ask-people-what-letters-they-can-read-on-a-chart.

But, he had the shortened version of his title on his name-tag, because it would be one large name-tag to fit his whole title. So it said something like: Optometrist.

Anyways, the scary eye torture dude took me into his lair. I was nervous because I knew he would flash bright lights in my eyes and want to poke it. I don't like bright lights or poky thingies near my precious eye balls. I ask him not to dialate my eyes when I first walk in because I need to work a 5 hour shift and I need to have normal sized pupils in order to not freak people out... they might think i'm a follower of Voldemort with black eyes...

I think he was dissapointed that he couldn't dialate my eyes. He shone some bright lights in my eyes, which left blue spots all around the room. I hate that sensation with a firey passion. It feels like i'm going blind when that happens.

The worst part by far was when he had to put the contacts in my eyes. He had to measure my eyeballs and see how the contacts fit. Usually it takes about 3 times to put a lense in an eye but it took him about 30 times for the right eye, and over 40 for the left. It was... soooo bad.

Halfway through, my eyes were sore, watering, and I was weak from flexing (flexing while he does it makes me feel tough like I can endure the torture of him touching my eyeball). When I said: "I bet this is what hell will be like, someone contsantly trying to put a contact lense in your eye but it never going in." He laughed really hard.

When he got them both in it was amazing. I had better than 20/20 vision according to my eye test with the contacts, and I finally had peripheral vision for the first time ever. It was heaven.

I can put contacts in for the first time by myself tomorrow. I have another appointment tomorrow to have some vision ladies help me learn how to put it in. It will be soooo terrible. Seriously, it will take at least two hours to just put it in and then take them out. Wow... I should bring a sweat towel with me.

Wish me luck.